How Sewing Influenced My Life (After 20+ Years)

Show Notes

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Podcast Transcript

Sarai
Welcome back to Seamwork Radio, where we share practical ideas for building a creative process so you can sew with intention and joy.

Today is another community mailbag episode, so we're going to be sharing stories from sewers who have been sewing for more than 20 years, and they told us how sewing has influenced their lives. So I'm really excited to share these stories. We've got some good ones today, and I think we're going to learn a lot.

So to get us started, the icebreaker for today. What is your fondest sewing memory, Haley?

Haley
This is hard because I have a lot of good sewing memories. I also just sew a lot, so hopefully there's good memories there.

I think that, of course, my favorite sewing memories are usually when I get to sew with other people. I have a lot of really fond memories sewing wedding dresses with my friend Rachel. When we would do that together, we just would have so much fun, and we would always stay up all night. And she's really into caffeinated beverages, and she always had, like, a Mountain Dew in hand and just, like so many funny, goofy memories and late night runs for snacks and very wee hours of the morning breaks to go to the diner to get food and just, like, really fun times.

Those are some of my favorite sewing memories. What about you?

Sarai
I think I have a lot of them, too. I think one of the things that is a fond memory for me is when I was first learning to sew and some of the things that I made back then, because kind of like you're saying, I used to stay up till all hours of the night to finish, and I was so excited about it, and I was learning so much back then and making all these crazy things, and there were just no limits back then.

I think those are some of my fondest sewing memories, are those really early experiences when I was a teenager, just learning to sew and all the fun things I would make then.

I think also making my wedding dress is a really fond memory just because I remember putting a lot of effort into it and a lot of time into it, and it felt very rewarding to do that and to have a reason to make something really special. And then, of course, there are a lot of pictures, because it was my wedding dress. And I think also just having a lot of photos of something you made and put effort into it helps to stick in your memory, that way you reflect back on it more.

So obviously, a wedding causes a lot of pictures to be taken of you. So I think that's one reason why it really stands out in my mind and I come back to it in my mind a lot. This is a good question.

And if you have an icebreaker for us, you can leave it for us and we'll use it on a future episode. If you're a member, just go to seamwork.com/go/icebreakers. Well, we may use it on a future episode. We probably will, unless it's offensive. Please don't give us offensive icebreakers. We haven't had any of those yet, though. Maybe I'm inviting some crazy I don’t know.

Haley
Maybe write some in. I might like them.

Sarai
Yeah, we might enjoy them. We might not use them, but we might enjoy them.

All right, so getting into our topic for today, so I learned to sew from my grandmother. Not everyone has that opportunity when they're learning to sew, but it is really a special experience, and it is a unique experience. What about you, Haley?

Haley
Well, I didn't learn to sew from one of my relatives, but I definitely found a chosen family in sewing. And it gave me the opportunity to connect with people who weren't just my age and my peers. And as a teenager and very young adult, when I discovered sewing, it was really formative for me because I felt like I lived these kind of split lives.

For half of the time, I was, like, out partying, getting up to young people antics with my peers. And then the other half of the time I was like, hanging out with people who were much older than me and sewing all the time.

And sometimes those two worlds collided, which was also very fun. But yeah, I didn't have that opportunity to learn from someone in my family, but I found family in sewing.

Sarai
Yeah. And I think that's the really special thing about the sewing community is that you can really find your people there in that craft, and those can become kind of your honorary elders. If you don't have that in your family already, or even if you do, I think it's a really special way to connect with people across generations, no matter your age.

So today we're going to be sharing some quotes from our community from people who have been sewing for at least 20 years. And we're going to approach, as we have a lot of great stories here, and we divided them up into the themes that came up around creativity and around presence and a lot of other things that we just saw over and over again in these stories. So we're going to share them, and then we're going to talk a little bit about each of those themes.

Haley
All right, so let's jump in. The first theme that came up was being present and learning to really enjoy the process of sewing. So this first quote comes from Melanie, and Melanie writes:

“I learned to sew after a miscarriage 30 years ago. My family didn’t want me to ride my horse for second pregnancy (although riding was unrelated to miscarriage). So I hung out more with my mom who quilts. I went from complaining about how boring fabric stores are (I would ask to read a book in the car while she went in) to quilting and then sewing clothes for my kids. Of late (almost 60)I have FINALLY learned to enjoy the process instead of acting like I work on piece rate in a factory. I also learned that for self-care I would rather sew than massage or mani-pedi. I am so much more at peace after some time in my sewing room.”

That's a great one. I love sewing. I don't know, I do love a massage, though. That's a tough call. But I admire you for choosing sewing.

Sarai
It's definitely better than a mani-pedi.
Haley
Yeah, for sure. That's easy choice.

All right. And then our next quote comes from Gus. And Gus writes:

“I think my mom tried to teach me to sew in junior high, so I don't know about mid-80s. I was terrible and remained terrible at it for years and years. Too impatient and lazy and only interested in the finished piece.

And then one day, I decided I needed to learn pattern drafting. And during that coursework, I became more careful because every bit of the process was a reflection of me from concept to seam finish.

I would not say that sewing has influenced my life. I would say that my life has influenced my sewing. Age and experience and the desire to perfect a craft has made me appreciate the process and the journey and mastering techniques.

Sometimes now, when I'm done with a project, I'm disappointed it's finished. My focus is more on the art and less on the making or wearing a new shirt or skirt. Not that that doesn't give me practical benefits. Nothing makes you look and feel as good as wearing clothes that really fit your body and your style.”

That was great. Thank you so much. Gus?

Sarai, I’m curious. At what point in your sewing did you feel content to enjoy the process of sewing rather than focusing on the outcome?

Sarai
That's a really good question. I feel like I still go back and forth.

Haley
Yeah.

Sarai
So I have been sewing for over 20 years, and I feel like over time, there's been kind of a gradual shift towards being a bit more process oriented and less focused on the outcome. And I think a part of that is just not being as interested or well, I wouldn't say as interested, but I feel like my appearance is not as central in my life as it was when I was young. Although obviously I still care about my appearance to some extent, or to a large extent, probably. But I do feel like that has a little bit of an influence and also just feeling like I have enough clothes. It's not a matter of needing more. It's just more a matter of I want to do this.

Haley
Totally.

Sarai
What about you?

Haley
In hindsight, I obviously enjoyed sewing more than just the end product when I first started, or else I don't know if I would have kept going. But my focus was so product oriented, and I think that maybe a couple of years in is when I started to really look forward to my time sewing much more than I looked forward to the project being actually done. I think the amount of time is really arbitrary. The rate that I learned how to sew is very like pedal to the metal. So I maybe got, like, four years of sewing done in the two year time period. But I think that it was when I had gotten to that more intermediate to advanced level that I felt like, okay, I'm not just, like, trying to muddle through figuring out how to sew.

I think that getting to a level of mastery definitely made me more comfortable and confident, and that helped me to enjoy the process more.

Sarai
Yeah.

Haley
All right, so we're going to move on to our next theme, which is creativity.

And our first quote comes from Krisha, and they write:

“Sewing has given my brain a creative outlet. I was diagnosed with ADHD around the time I learned to sew, and it gave me a place to focus my spinning brain. After I had kids, I started sewing regularly during nap time, so I picked up garment sewing. I needed something that was just for me, and sewing was the perfect activity and became my passion. When my kids started school, it gave me a place to focus my restless energy that I used to spend on them. Being a stay at home mom is pretty isolating, and it gave me community. I feel like sewing has always been there. I sometimes take for granted how long that's been the case and what a big part of my life it has played. So thank you for the topic.”

You're welcome, Krisha.

Sarai
Yeah. I think Krisha brings up some good points about especially about having kids and the kind of need for a separate outlet from your kids.

Haley
Yeah. And activating that creative part of your brain. I think when so much of your life is consumed by young children it’s really vital and helps you preserve that sense of identity.

Sarai
Yeah. I don't have kids, but I feel that way with just having a business, too. It's real easy to get your identity all wrapped up in that one really important aspect of your life.

Haley
All right. And then I have another quote that comes from Betty. Hi, Betty.

Sarai
Hi, Betty.

Haley
“Sewing unleashes my creativity. I have been sewing for over 50 years with a hiatus, while raising a family and having a busy career. I took it up again as retirement enrichment. It keeps my brain sharp and appeals to my planning instincts.

It is the way I express my love for my grandchildren who all who live a distance away. Sewing for them, selecting fabrics and themes and colors that appeal to them gives me great joy. They look forward to receiving my packages.”

I would too. That's awesome.

“And when I sew for myself, it is self-care. There is a whole community of people who get why I love to sew, discovered through Seamwork, and this is so energizing. I've learned that much of the art of sewing is problem-solving. I thought problem-solving was the purview of the corporate and business world, not the arts. How wrong I was. It has given me a deeper appreciation of all of the arts.”

Sarai
That's great.

Haley
We love Betty. Betty is a regular over on the Seamwork community and she is awesome.

Sarai
Yes. She's always there with a happy comment for someone, which is she's amazing. Love her.

Haley
Yeah. Love you, Betty. So Sarai, I'm curious, what does sewing give you creatively that your other outlets do not?

Sarai
Oh, that's a good question. I think every hobby or creative outlet kind of offers something a little bit different. Maybe that's why I've always had a lot of different hobbies, because they just feed different needs for me.

I think for me, what sewing gives me the other outlets don't is that apart from knitting, it's the only one I have that I can actually wear on my body every day. And so it helps me to incorporate that and just into my day to day life. And I think that's really special. Being able to make something that you can then put on your body and use it to express yourself to the world day to day is so cool. And knitting does that too, which is another reason why I do love knitting. But knitting is such a slow process that you're not able to, I am not able to create nearly as much output and feel like I'm really using it as that outward, expressing myself outwardly to the world in the same way, just because I'm a little bit more limited there. Although I love to knit and I think that offers tremendous benefits in other ways.

So I think that's the main thing. Not that that's the only thing, but I think that's one of the things that differentiates it. What about you?

Haley
My other main creative outlets are definitely are cooking and gardening. I mean, who am I kidding? I have a bunch. But I think that the thing that is unique about sewing is that kind of what you were talking about, that I think that it's something that I can reflect my identity into in much more obvious ways than I can in my gardening or my cooking necessarily.

So I feel like it's this really obvious reflection of those things that I get to carry around with me every day and share with people very outwardly, where with gardening and cooking in particular, I feel like that requires invitation. You need to come to my home and I need to give you food or to hang out in my garden and chat about, look, over seed catalogs together.

So it's just something that I feel like I get to share with more people.

Sarai
Yeah, that's true. I also think you sparked an idea for me, which is also that I think sewing has such a rich palette of materials to work with, and I think that's a big part of why it's so amazing for self-expression. It's not just that you wear these clothes on your body and people look at you. It's also that fabric itself is so expressive. You have so much color, so much texture, prints, patterns. Like, there's so much there, not to mention all the different shapes you can create with it.

Haley
And then you can style it differently.
Sarai
So unlike gardening. I love gardening too, but plants are plants, and unless you're breeding plants, there's a limited amount to work from. And there's very, I would say very defined styles within gardening that you often are working from, and there's a certain amount of rules. And I feel like sewing is just so open ended, which is very cool.

All right, our next theme that we wanted to explore, that came out of these stories that people shared with us is the theme of independence. So this first quote we have comes from Jane. And Jane says:

“My earliest memories of sewing were at my great aunt's house, sitting on a little stool beside her mother and watching her have my school dress and her industrial Singer, so I must have been five. By high school, in the 80s, where I was a scholarship kid, I made most of my casual clothes, costumes for the school productions, ballet costumes, and even my formal and debutante dresses. It wasn't until I was in my late 20s that I realized I could make sewing my career.

I made costumes for amateur theater, and after a slew of jobs, I did a pattern making and garment construction course where I honed my self taught skills.

Since then, I worked in professional theater and opera, a bridal wear shop, 25 years of Costuming school productions, have my own Etsy store, take my Bernina sewing machine all over Australia, doing instant alterations for events, advertising and celebrities.

Sewing kept a roof over my head, kept me occupied during lonely times, gave me independence. And now I am teaching at a local grade school one morning a week. I love when they all call out hello as I walk into the school grounds, when they run up to me with a sketch for something they want to try, when they say they want to do sewing every day. And the eleven year old boy who didn't want to do sewing elective last year told me he fixed his teddy bear in the holidays because ‘I remembered the sewing you showed me.’

That made me tear up. We read through these right beforehand, and I thought that was adorable the first time I read it, and the second time I kind of got all teary eyed. It's so sweet.

Haley
I feel that way about so many of these stories and quotes.

Sarai
Yeah, such a sweet story. And I think it's so cool what she's saying about how it really provided her a means of living and that sense of independence. That's incredible. And that she's passing that on to the next generation.

Haley
Now, I know that little boy. You've already passed on that sense of independence to him, and he'll remember that.

Sarai
Yeah, it's great. The next one is from Laura on this theme of independence. And Laura says:

“I learned to sew when I was five years old sitting on my mother's lap, I guided the fabric through the machine, and she pressed the pedal. What did we make? A jungle-themed quilt that was displayed in the school library during the annual reflections and art contest. I have the quilt still.

I learned clothing sewing as a teenager and was impatient to be better sooner. What has sewing given me? It’s given me a sense of capability that can't be shaken. Through sewing. I know that I can overcome a broad or ambitious goal. Not too surprising, I now teach sewing again.”

Another person who felt like it gave her this sense of independence, and now she's passing it along to other people.

Haley
So many teachers in this episode.

Sarai
A lot of teachers. It's great. And then the next one we have, this one comes from Kate. Oh, my gosh. I love this one. Kate says:

“It’s always been very hard for me to put into words what sewing has given me. All the people who raised me sewed, and it seemed natural to pick it up. I'm not even sure I completely remember starting. It was more like, I don't know. I'm not supposed to do this, so here I go. I was probably six. I've since turned it into a semi-career. I've sewed in theater, costume shops, historic sites, freelance museums, and probably more than I can think of at this moment. I've dressed families, family, friends, and enemies, actors, historians, kids, and myself. Sewing gave me independence. I could do this myself. I can contribute. I use the problem solving skills developed in sewing every dang day.”

Kate, I want to hear more about you sewing for your enemies.

Haley
I have questions.

Sarai
Who are these enemies, and why are you making clothing for them?

Haley
Unless it was like some kind of trickery, like a booby trapped clothing type situation.

Sarai
Like clothing that would disintegrate when it got wet. I love that idea. Kate, you're diabolical.

What about you, Haley? Do you feel like sewing has made you more self reliant in this way they're describing?

Haley
Yes, definitely. I mean, I've, like, made my whole career is centered around sewing. So it like, literally, it puts a roof over my head. But I think that it has sparked this passion in me for being very self-reliant and being able to do things for myself. And honestly, a lot of my other hobbies are about self-reliance as well. So it's kind of just I think it triggered a theme in my life, for sure. What about you?

Sarai
Yeah, I mean, I've always been really interested in things that make one more self-reliant. I think that's something, for some reason, that's just kind of inborn in me, this desire to DIY things. And I don't know exactly why, but it's just always been that way. I get a lot of enjoyment from that.

I used to be really interested in this idea of self-reliance and kind of like urban homesteading and things like that, which I still think is amazing. Over time, I’ve really recognized that you have to combine that with reliance on other people. And it's not just about being independent, but I think having those skills allows you to be a rock for others as well, which is really cool.

And I think self-reliance can lead to more interdependence as well, which I think is a new perspective for me in the last few years. But I like anything that makes me feel like I can do it myself.

Haley
I call them my apocalypse skills. I'm the person you want in your new commune apocalypse times.

Sarai
Yeah, I know how to save seeds.

All right, so those are some really great stories on the theme of independence. The next theme that came up—we have two more themes—the next one that came up is connection. So our first story here comes from Kelly. Actually, Kelly is the main story here. So Kelly says:

“I remember the first thing I sewed at about age four. I added a pink flannel apron string to the pinafore of my Raggedy Ann doll. So I think I can say I've sewed for 63 years, off and on.

I almost quit after a mean Home EC teacher refused to help me understand how to put a zipper in. I sneaked at home, and my sister showed me in ten minutes. My grandmother also taught me how to sew as a teenager. Sewing is a way to have new clothes as a young person. As a young mother, I sewed every day for myself and my daughter. Later, I became a quilter, and now retired, I am back to clothes and quilts. Sewing connects all the dots to my past, to the people and places I have known and been, and it connects back even further when I hold something one of my family members made over 100 years ago.

I feel connected when I wear my Aunt Kate's thimble, an aunt born a long time ago that I never met. I remember what it felt like to sew for my tiny little daughter when I found the scraps and pattern I used. I have a piece of Liberty cotton a friend brought me from England when I lived in the Amazon in 1977. I really do plan on sewing it sometime.

And I feel connected to the future. When I give a quilt to someone, someday, someone will hold it and say, my Aunt Kelly made this for me. Sewing crosses generations, and only the technology and gadgets get better all the time. Connecting with other sewers is not age dependent. We just connect and help each other.”

That's a great one, Kelly, what a beautiful perspective. Do you feel, Haley, like you've made unexpected connections through sewing?

Haley
Oh, absolutely. I think that was one of my first joys that sewing gave me. I just got to connect with all of these people that I don't think I would have otherwise had the opportunity to. I think we live in a really complicated world, and sometimes it can feel challenging to find common ground. And sewing has really taught me that we have so much more in common than we think we do. I think I was blessed enough to learn that lesson a lot earlier in life because I got to spend time with people who weren't just like me and just my age and the exact same beliefs as me. So the unexpected connections, I mean, they're just kind of infinite, it feels like.

Sarai
Yeah, I agree. And I think it's particularly hard in our modern society to spend time with people outside of your family who are in a different generation than you. I think people tend to, and this is normal and probably hasn't changed that much over time, but people tend to flock to people who are very similar to them in a lot of ways, and I think age is one of those ways. But I think when you can learn from people who have more experience or learn from people who have a different perspective because they're from a younger generation, it is so enriching. I found that not just in the sewing world, but also when I moved into the country, also, we have a close community amongst our neighbors, and they're people of all different ages, and you learn from all of them. It's pretty amazing.

Haley
I think so many of us, something that's lacking for many of us in our modern culture is like the presence of a village, and so we seek community through our common interests a lot of times. And I think sewing is really unique in that it's so cross-generational.

Sarai
Yeah, very true. All right, we have one more to share with you today, and it's on the subject of grace. So this story comes from Donna, and Donna says:

“One of my first purchases when I left home, 40 years ago this year, was a sewing machine. Sewing has taught me that I'm never going to achieve perfection. But that's okay because progress in good enough outcomes products are better than never achieving anything for fear it won't be perfect. Collecting fabric may be a different and separate hobby from sewing, and both make me happy. There is always another project. Bags, quilts, clothes, endless variety and endless fabric to browse and you will end up with unique creation. Only give homemade gifts to people who are going to appreciate the effort. Buy a gift for those who won’t.”

Well, I think Donna should let Kate know she doesn't have to sew for her enemies anymore.

Haley
I love that advice, though.

Sarai
It is good advice. Yeah, we're just kidding around, Kate. I just thought that was really cute. I definitely feel that. Do you feel like your relationship with perfectionism has changed through sewing?

Haley
I think this is complicated. I think that it has made me more of a perfectionist in some ways and has also taught me that perfection is unobtainable in other ways. Yeah, I think that it's tricky. It's tricky ground because I think the more skilled you become at something, sometimes the easier it is to be more critical of your own work. But overall, sewing has like, imparted the lesson on me that done is better than good sometimes.

Sarai
Yeah, I kind of feel that way too. Sometimes I feel like perfectionism does creep in into my sewing and I don't know that it has improved that particular relationship. But other times I do feel like it has helped because I feel like every project has some kind of flaw and I have to live with that flaw and I always do. So I think in that way, maybe it has taught me a little bit of a lesson. I actually feel it more with knitting, only because knitting, I feel like, has taught me more patience because when I make a mistake knitting, I have to rip it back. If you're familiar with knitting, you have to undo your rows to get back to wherever you made the mistake. And that means often undoing hours and hours or days of work. And you have to get used to that and then realize, okay, well, that's just part of it. It's part of the process. Happens every time. Not every time, but it happens. So I feel like that has actually helped me to be more patient in my sewing with mistakes. So I feel like those two things have been, they kind of have gone together for me.

Haley
Yeah.

Sarai
But I don't know. I still struggle with perfectionism for sure.

Haley
Yeah, I'll get back to you on that in another 20 years.

Sarai
Yeah, that might take a few more decades. Well, those were some amazing stories.

Haley
Really good. I'm not going to recap everything because there was so much ground to cover, but I will recap the themes that we covered today, which is learning to be present and in the moment and enjoying the process. Creativity, independence, community. And grace with yourself.

My big takeaway from this episode is—I think my big takeaway is just the immense amount of gratitude I feel for all of these things that I have learned from sewing and how much it's enriched my life. And also the gratitude for this community of people who took time out of their day to write all of these beautiful, thoughtful responses and all of the people I've met over the years. It just honestly makes me feel overwhelmed with emotion. That's my takeaway. What about you?

Sarai
I think my biggest takeaway from reading all of these stories, it seems like a lot of the people who mentioned their age in the stories or who I know through the community are a bit older than I am. My big takeaway, I think from this episode is listening to all of these amazing stories from all these people who I think people who mention their age and the people that I know through the community, they seem maybe a little bit older than I am. I feel like this has shown me that there's still so much room to grow and to learn the lessons that creativity and this hobby can teach me in time, because I feel like there's still ways for me to go in some areas. And it's really cool and interesting to hear how other people have developed themselves personally over time through sewing and through their access to their creative selves, which I think is just amazing to hear about. That's my biggest takeaway.

Haley
That's such a good point. I love that takeaway. Before we sign off, I just want to take like a minute to shout out our community. I don't know if you all know this, but if you are a Seamwork member, you get access to our exclusive private online sewing community. And that is where all of these amazing stories and words of wisdom came from today.

In the community, you can join discussion topics, share your projects, set goals, and participate in live events. And you can ask all of your burning sewing questions. And you'll always get a creative response from one of your fellow Seamwork community members or even someone at the Seamwork team.

And if you haven't checked it out already, I definitely recommend it. You can experience lots of really cool wisdom and conversations just like the one that we got to have today.

And if you liked this episode, we would just love if you left us a review. It helps us to make sure we are making the kinds of episodes you guys want to listen to. And also it helps other people to find us. So if you could take a moment of your time and leave us some stars, leave us some words, we also love reading them on the episodes as well.

Sarai
All right, and that wraps us up for this week. I'm Sarai.

Haley
And I'm Haley.

Sarai
And this is Seamwork Radio.