Podcast Transcript

Sarai
I'm Sarai.

Haley
And I'm Haley.

Sarai
And this is Seamwork Radio. Welcome back to Seamwork Radio, where we share practical ideas for building a creative process so you can sew with more intention and joy.

And today we're talking about practical things that you can do to use sewing as an opportunity to slow down and de-stress. And we're going to cover five tips that will help you ditch your productivity-focused mindset, even if it's just for a little while, so you can really just relax and enjoy your sewing time.

So we have an ice breaker today from Blanca, and Blanca asked this question. “Thinking back to when you were building your skills as a beginner, when did you feel like you made the leap to leveling up as a not beginner sewist. What skills, techniques, or sewing rites of passage let you know you leveled up?” All right, Haley, what do you think? What were your level up moments?

Haley
This is a hard question because it feels like a long time ago, but I think kind of the signal to me that I had moved out of the beginner stage was I wasn't constantly referring to my notes and having to look up in a book every time I came to a technique, even if it was something I did before. I think when I had that confidence to be like, oh, yeah, a dart. Sew the dart. I know how to do that. I can sew a dart. That's when I didn't feel like a beginner anymore. So it was less about, I mean, it was partially about the skills, but it was kind of this mindset of having the confidence and the skills that I had practiced over and over again. So I feel like that's when I felt like I wasn't a beginner. As far as skills or techniques, I don't know if there was really a skill or technique. I really feel like beginner, for me, felt like more of a mindset kind of a thing. And even when I ran into those things that I didn't know, I felt more confident in learning them.

I didn't feel like I was just, like, free floating. What about you?

Sarai
Well, I think we talked before in another episode about adventurous beginners versus cautious beginners, and I was always the more adventurous beginner, and so I feel like I got out of feeling like I was a beginner pretty quickly in terms of being maybe apprehensive about doing things that were outside my comfort zone. I didn't really have that. I just dove right in and did whatever I wanted to do, and I didn't really mind if it wasn't perfect. So I feel like I got out of that beginner mindset after just a few projects, really, in that I felt like I was ready to tackle whatever I wanted to tackle. And I felt confident that even if I couldn't do it, I felt confident that I could figure it out and learn along the way. So I think I adopted that mindset pretty early on. When I think about skills that really made me feel like, okay, I can do this now. I think zippers were a big one for me. I don't know why, but in my mind, that was sort of the thing that was a little bit of a challenge getting started. And then once I had figured them out, at least how to do your standard centered zipper, I felt like, okay, I can do a lot more things now that I know how to do this technique.

So I don't know why that in particular is the thing that made me feel that way, but that's the only kind of hurdle that I feel like I jumped to make it from feeling like a complete novice to somebody who could really tackle a wide variety of things. It really just depends so much on the person.

Haley
Yes, definitely. I think that you bring up a good point, though, that closures were definitely gaining a certain confidence in those made me feel like I had more options available to me in terms of what I felt comfortable sewing.

Sarai
So I guess that's one thing that I think if you're a beginner, if you're new to sewing, finding those things that make you feel like you can tackle a wider variety of projects than you could do before, I feel like those are the moments where you start to feel like you're really leveling up. It's important to keep pushing yourself and keep experimenting and moving forward, even if things aren't perfect.

Haley
Yes, totally. Getting that repetition in on the things that you're really intimidated by is, like, so vital, and it just raises your tolerance for failure, and it's good all around for your sewing, for your mental health. I encourage it.

Sarai
Well, that was a great question, Blanca. Thank you so much. If you have an icebreaker for us that you want to ask for a future episode, you can leave it for us. If you're a Seamwork member, just go to Seamwork.com/go/icebreakers, and that will take you to a thread in our community where you can share your idea for a future icebreaker, and we'll likely use it on an episode.

All right, so today we're talking about slowing down and enjoying your sewing more. So we previously did an episode on sewing shortcuts to help you speed up your sewing, and sometimes that's great. Sometimes you want to go a little bit faster, and it's just nice to know those tricks for being more efficient.

But most of the time, we personally, Haley and I, we use sewing as a way to escape the cult of efficiency and really just enjoy the process of creating. So if you feel like you've been stuck in productivity mode with your sewing and you just want to enjoy the process and you want to use it to destress and to express yourself, we're going to talk about how to make that happen.

So, Haley, what do you feel like are the roadblocks that keep you in this productivity mode where you're really focused on productivity?

Haley
I think for me, it's just this constant sensation that there is a lack of time and that my time is precious, which it is. I agree with that statement. But this mindset of that in order to honor my precious time, I need to maximize how I'm using it. I think that that's the big mindset for me, and it's a mindset kind of a thing. What about you?

Sarai
Yeah, I feel the same thing. I have a lot of anxiety around time. I was just saying the other day to someone that I feel like pulled in a couple of different directions. I feel a pull to slow down and do less and enjoy things more and be more mindful in my life, and I really try to do that, but at the same time, I feel this pull to do more. I have all these creative ideas, and I want to make them happen, and I think that's also really good for me to do these creative projects that I want to do. I don't think that the answer is just always to do less necessarily. And so it's this really tricky balance of finding that sweet spot where you feel like you are exercising your creativity and doing these things that really help to make you feel whole and make you feel good, but at the same time not overtaxing yourself to the point that everything feels like one more to do on your to-do list. So I think that's what I struggle with personally.

Haley
Do you think that there are any productivity traps that you fall into or you set for yourself? In a way?

Sarai
Yeah, I do. I feel like to do lists are a big one for me. I know we've talked about that before. I feel like I'm always struggling between whether to write down a to do list, for example, on the weekend when I have a stretch of time before me, and I have a lot of things that I would like to do or need to do. Sometimes making a list of those things and checking them off feels really good, and you feel like, okay, I'm getting it out of my head onto paper so I won't forget anything, and I'm not just constantly thinking about it. And sometimes that's really healthy, and then other times, it sets that trap for yourself where you're like, well, I want to sew for an hour. And then it feels like one more thing on this list of long things that you have to do, along with the laundry and grocery shopping and whatever else you have to do to maintain your life. I struggle with that, and I feel like that's sort of, I don't know if I would call it a trap, so much as a conundrum. I guess it's just sort of like something I haven't really figured out yet.

What about you?

Haley
I agree with that one for sure. I am like a big to-do list person. And sometimes I think that they can be beneficial, obviously, but sometimes I feel maybe a little bit trapped by them. I think that the other productivity trap that I fall into or set up for myself really is that I create these arbitrary deadlines for things that don't need them. Like I am working on this top and I really want to finish it so I can wear it this weekend. Obviously, I don't need to finish it. I have plenty of other tops I can wear this weekend. But there's this line between being goal oriented, which I am, I know you are too, and then letting that goal-oriented nature suck the joy out of things. And I think that sometimes finding that balance is really challenging.

Sarai
Yeah, I think it's hard, especially because I think for most of us, we've been rewarded all our lives for being goal oriented and for achieving things and setting deadlines for ourselves and meeting them and having the determination and the ambition and the discipline to get things done. I think that's probably true for everybody listening to one degree or another, we've all achieved things in our life, no matter where you are, and society, family, people reward those things. And it feels good. It feels really good.

But I think that that can become an addiction in a way and it can derail some of the other aspects of life that are just as important. And I think that's really something I've been trying to explore more personally is what of this am I doing for myself? And because it's meaningful to me. And what am I doing because I feel like this is, I don't know, something that other people will admire or something that is going to just make me feel accomplished in some way. It's difficult. I don't think it's a problem to solve. I think it's something to manage.

Haley
I'm curious, what does it feel like when you're not in productivity mode?

Sarai
I think when I'm personally not in productivity mode, I feel that sense of flow. So I feel like time is sort of irrelevant and you don't really feel the passing of time. You're just in the zone doing your thing. I think as far as creative work, that's how it feels. So whether I'm sewing or drawing or painting or even writing, I feel that's how it feels. Other times, if I'm going for a walk and just admiring the scenery and looking around me, I feel very present. I feel very in the moment and I have a lot of attention to give. So I guess they're similar in that way. There's attention paid to what's right in front of me versus the future. What about you?

Haley
Yeah, I agree with all of those things. I feel like when I'm finally when I'm able to exit that productivity mode, I feel relieved, an overwhelming sense of relief. And also, yes, that like loss of time and sense of flow, really. I mean, I think that those are definite things that I feel. And I just feel really creative in those moments as well, when I can be really present and stop thinking about my goals and my to-do list and all of that stuff. I feel like ideas come really easily during that time.

Sarai
Well, let's get into some of the tips we wanted to share with people today. So these are some of the things that we've found that are helpful, particularly when it comes to sewing. If you struggle with this or if it's something like me that you feel is something that you always just need to manage, I think there are certain concrete things

that have helped me, and I know that's true for Haley, too. So we're going to share some of those things. And my first tip, and this is a big one for me in my life generally, is to create rituals around your sewing. So when I say rituals, I mean things that you can do physically to your surroundings or with yourself that help to set a tone and set an intention for whatever you're about to do. So I have a lot of rituals in my life, and I feel they really do help me to shift my thinking, because I think what I was talking about before about trying to stay mindful and trying to stay in the present moment and trying to avoid some of those productivity traps, it's a constant circling.

It's a constant coming back and reminding myself of what's important. And rituals in my life are a really concrete way to help me do that. So I have rituals for, I get up in the morning, they change too. I'll say that they do change, but right now, some of my rituals, I get up in the morning. I start coffee. It's still dark outside. I sit down with my journal. I spend a few minutes journaling, and then I read something for a little while. I take a walk. These are all things that kind of help me set the tone for my day. And you can do the same thing with your sewing. I think that setting a ritual, especially at the beginning of your sewing session, it really signals to your brain that you're about to switch gears and do something for yourself. So I like to really start gently, just start to set the tone with something very calm and gentle for myself. And it helps me to see sewing as a way to destress and relax rather than something that I need to shove into my schedule while I have a few minutes here and there.

So some examples of rituals that may be helpful for you are, for example, closing the door to your sewing room if you have a separate sewing room. If that's something that's available to you, just closing the door, finding something that you want to listen to or that you want to watch while you sew might be a ritual for you. Maybe making a warm beverage for yourself, some tea or some coffee or something else that you like to drink. Putting on some soothing music or maybe loud music. Maybe you like to have it really loud and get the energy up. Or maybe it depends on your mood, but maybe selecting some music to set the tone for your sewing session is helpful for you, or maybe even just resetting your sewing space. So maybe it's just a matter of getting everything set up and ready to go, whatever it is that makes you feel good and ready to start. I also really like to light candles in the winter just to make my space feel really cozy and warm, and I find that very relaxing. So it could be something as simple as that, something that just brightens your room up or makes you feel like, this is my time to relax.

So it's all about creating that sensory experience and making it feel really special and indulgent for yourself, and that really works well for me. Do you have any rituals that you use, Haley, for sewing?

Haley
Well, now that I have a dedicated sewing space, I definitely love closing the door back when I did not. I loved using headphones. I've sewed in lots of situations where there's tons of people around me in my personal life, and in sewing, and headphones really help for that. I love finding something to watch or listen to. I have candles. I have an essential oil diffuser for when it's summertime, and I don't want to deal with an open flame. Fire, the literal fire. Proceed with caution with that. But, yeah, I agree. Kind of setting up this sensory experience for myself, closing out the outside world as much as is available to me. I think that those are all, for me, really great starting places. I love watching, like, funny YouTube videos when I'm doing because I feel like it kind of makes me laugh, and I feel like there's a seriousness with that productivity mindset. So I love just, like, watching I don't know, I'll watch, like, drag queens or something on YouTube, and it just gets me out of that place of taking myself so seriously.

Sarai
That's a good point. I think a lot of the rituals that I mentioned are more soothing, calming. Usually that's what I'm craving in my life is just a little bit more serenity, but that's just me. And for other people, it might be, like I said, loud music for high energy, or it might be more opportunities to laugh or whatever it is. I think it depends so much on the individual, so little bit of exploration into what you need and also have.

Haley
Flexibility with yourself, because there's definitely some times where I'm like, I want silence, I want a cup of tea, I want to be soothed. And sometimes where I'm like, let's get this party started. Let’s go.

Sarai
Yeah, it goes seasonally for me, too. I think in the winter I need some coziness. I like that calmness. Maybe there's snow falling outside and that's what I'm looking for. But in the summer, maybe it feels different. Maybe you need a little bit more energy in the summer and you want to motivate yourself to be inside instead of outside if you really want to get some sewing done. So these things change. They change with time and mood and all kinds of stuff. So it's a really good point.

So rituals were my first tip, a starting ritual. My second tip that I find very helpful is giving myself a window of time. So really thinking about how much time you personally need at a minimum to enjoy your sewing. For some of you, that might be 20 minutes. You might be totally capable of enjoying a 20-minute sewing session. For others, it might require a couple hours or more in order to really get into the flow. So I think that is something that's been really helpful for me. I know. Healey, you've mentioned in a few recent episodes about carving out two-hour sewing blocks, which I think is a really great idea.

I think that's a really good chunk of time because it doesn't take too much out of your day, but at the same time it's enough to get into the groove and enjoy things for a while.

Haley
It's my magic number for sure.

Sarai
And maybe it's different for you. Maybe you might have a different magic number. But I really like that two-hour block. It's helpful sometimes to have a maximum too, because I think sometimes, for me at least, I get to a point sometimes in my sewing where I just get really obsessed with finishing it instead of enjoying the process. And having a hard stop at a certain time really helps me to remember that it's just about enjoying it for this period of time and not about getting to some finish line. I know I struggle with this still sometimes if I need to have dinner or make dinner at a certain time, but I'm sewing and I only have an hour left to go, then I'll postpone dinner. I always feel like that ends up making the last hour or two feel rushed and frantic and not as pleasurable as they could be. So that might help you as well.

Haley
That kind of leads into my next tip, which is to recognize when you're giving yourself these arbitrary deadlines and goals. This is something that I had talked about as being one of my traps earlier. And these can be like big deadlines, like I mentioned before. Like, I need to finish the top, this blouse before this weekend or this bathing suit before this big trip, but they can also be these smaller things. Like I have to install the zipper before I go and cook dinner. And I think that these little arbitrary deadlines can sometimes I don't want to say ruin, but I can definitely bring down the vibe on an otherwise really good sewing session. So I really tried to stay away from that as much as I can. I mean, sometimes it can't be helped, but recognizing when you're doing that with yourself and then giving yourself the grace that you will get as far as you get and enjoy your time at the sewing machine instead. It's so easy to do because we're just so goal oriented all the time and reframing things and thinking of your time at the sewing machine as a chance to be more process oriented is really healthy and will make your sewing time more enjoyable.

Sarai
Yeah, I was just reading something about, since we're kind of at the beginning of a new year, reading about setting process oriented goals versus setting outcome oriented goals and how that can help you to make that switch into thinking about the experience of doing something rather than focusing on some deadline or outcome that's far in the future, which I think is really healthy, especially for any kind of creative activity.

Haley
I totally agree and I love that idea of setting process oriented goals rather than, I don't know, goal oriented goals. Destination oriented goals. My next tip is to use sewing as an opportunity to really pay attention and be present with yourself. Ask yourself how you can be more present with each step. I think that sewing gives you lots of opportunities to kind of slow down and pay attention. When I'm sewing using a pattern or using pattern instructions, I love to use the pattern instructions as a way to kind of punctuate my time sewing and also to reground myself.

I think it can be really easy to want to move on with the next thing and kind of keep it snappy and skim your instructions or to abandon them altogether. But I like to use that time to slow down, read the instructions, maybe read the step a couple of times and just make sure that I'm staying present and I'm not rushing through things. That's just something that I do. You can choose another moment in your sewing to do this. You could use your time at the ironing board and to really pay attention to all of the sensory experiences that you're having, like the steam from the iron, the smell of the cotton, all of that kind of stuff.

You could create your own little slow down moment, but think of places where you can punctuate your sewing experience. I think that's very helpful. It's been very helpful for me, at least.

Sarai
I like that a lot. I feel like that's something that I could do more of while I'm actually sewing. Really focus on that immediate experience.
Haley
The next and final tip is going to be to create a closing ritual. I think it's really important so you don't feel like you're just abandoning your sewing project, leaving the iron running to run in the other room and make dinner. I think that the way that you start something and the way that you end something sets such a tone for the entire process and then it sets a tone for how you're going to feel moving on to the next portion of your day.

And I don't know about you, but for me I want to leave my time at the sewing machine feeling really creative and energized and just have positive feelings. And when I don't take that time to have a kind of closing ritual, I feel a little bit more anxious and panicked and rushed moving on to my next thing. So some examples can be just like really practical things like unplug your iron. Well, I don't know why this episode has like, fire safety theme, but it does. Be aware of open flames. Unplug your iron.

Sarai
Nothing is more stressful than a house fire.

Haley
Yeah, nothing will ruin sewing for you quite like that. So definitely at the very least, unplug your iron. Maybe tidying up your project, hiding the thread from your cat or your toddler, lay out on the floor and stretch. I don't know what it is and it doesn't need to be anything big or grand, but it just needs to be like a moment where you like, pause and intentionally stop your sewing. And it just creates this, I think, like a lovely gentle transition for yourself so you can think back on that moment of time where you were sewing and feel really good about it and build those positive neuro pathways. You want to have positive associations with sewing. That's not going to happen without some amount of attention.

Sarai
I love that. I love that idea of the opening and the closing ritual. I think, like you said, it's a good way to not just feel good in the moment, but to have those positive associations in the future too. It's really nice. And if you feel like you're in a sewing lull or you feel like you just can't get into it for some reason, you're in a creative rut. I think maybe doing some of these things can help you to ease yourself out of it and make it feel good again and start building up those positive associations again. That just make it feel good because it should feel good.

Well, I'm going to recap our tips for today. So we had five tips. So the first one is to create a ritual around your sewing. So create an opening ritual that will help you to set the tone for your sewing session for the day. And then give yourself a window of time, decide how much you personally need at a minimum to enjoy your sewing and maybe set a maximum, too, if you feel like you often kind of rush at the end to get done.

Number three is to recognize when you're giving yourself arbitrary deadlines and goals. I think we all do this from time to time, so just recognize if that's something that's causing you stress. You sewing as an opportunity to pay attention and really try to be more present with each thing that you're doing and that can make it feel a little bit more relaxing and also help you to bring attention to what you're doing.

And finally create a closing ritual that's going to help you create those positive associations coming out of your sewing session and feel good about going to it next time.

So those are our tips today. What's your big takeaway, Haley, what do you think your big takeaway from this episode is?

Haley
I think my big takeaway is looking at this list of tips for slowing down and enjoying your sewing. It's so easy to do. All of the things that we're suggesting here are easy. They're available to everyone. And I think that sometimes we get so wrapped up in the rat race that we forget how simple it could be. We don't need to overcomplicate things with all of these goals and our to-do list. We can just kind of set the intention and move forward accordingly. I think that's kind of my takeaway is don't over complicate it, just enjoy it.

Sarai
Yeah. Isn't it hard to just be? Just do things and enjoy them and not think about the future or what you're getting out of it or some practical reason for doing it, but just to be there, enjoying what you're doing, it can be hard sometimes. We're conditioned out of it. I think my big takeaway is really the closing ritual is something that I want to implement more, which you talked about. I feel like I don't often do that. I definitely have. I know I clean up and everything, put stuff away afterwards, but I don't really feel like it's a ritual for me. I don't feel like it's a way for me to set the tone going out of the sewing session the way I did, going into it. So that's something that I want to implement more. I really like the idea of just, like, stretching afterwards, because sewing can be physically it can be a little bit taxing on your body sometimes. So I like that idea of bringing that kind of awareness back to your body as you finish up whatever creative work you're doing, whether it's sewing or anything else. I really like that idea.

Sarai
That's something I'm going to implement. All right, well, if you want to learn more about this topic, if you're interested in it, we have an episode called Escaping the Cult of Efficiency. We'll put a link to that in the show notes that you can listen to that's on a similar theme, and if you don't struggle with slowing down right now, and you just want to speed up your sewing. We also have an episode on what are some of the best sewing shortcuts to save time, and I don't think those two things are mutually exclusive, because sometimes you do want to do a quick, fun, easy sewing and get something turned out fast, and I think that's okay, too. It's just about recognizing what you need at the moment. So if that's something you're interested in, you can check out that episode, as well. And we'll link to that one in the Show Notes also.

And that will do it for us today. I'm Sarai.

Haley
And I'm Haley.

Sarai
And this is Seamwork Radio.