Should You Sew Your Wedding Outfit?

Show Notes

• Bridal Couture, by Susan Khalje


• 
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• 
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• Tell us your idea for the next icebreakers for makers!

Podcast Transcript

Sarai
I'm Sarai.

Haley
And I'm Haley.

Sarai
And this is Seamwork Radio. Welcome back to Seamwork Radio, where we share practical ideas for building a creative process so you can sew with intention and joy.

Today, we're talking about sewing your own wedding attire. So we're going to cover the benefits and drawbacks of making your own wedding outfit, and six tips if it's something you want tackle yourself. If you're not getting married soon, I think these tips will also apply to other big occasions or even you making something for somebody else's wedding.

All right, well, let's start with our icebreaker. What is the biggest project you have undertaken? Was it for you or someone else for a big occasion? How long did it take you, and were you or the wearer happy with the results? That came from Stephanie S.

Haley
This is a tough question, Stephanie, because I've made a lot of things that have taken ages to make.

I think that the thing that took me the longest, and I worked as a duo on this project, and it still took forever. I've probably talked about it on the podcast before, but I made a wedding dress for a woman. Her name was Genevieve, and it was out of this beautiful silk eyelet fabric, and it was very heavily embroidered. I think that her grandmother had bought it in China, and her mom's wedding outfit was made out of it, and Genevieve's prom dress was made out of it. It was gorgeous, but the only pieces of that fabric that we had were from the wedding dress, which was a wedding suit, and from the prom dress.

And the prom dress was an '80s prom dress with princess seams, and it was teeny tiny, not a lot of real estate. And the mother's wedding dress was a boxy suit jacket in a sheath dress. Also, teeny tiny, not a lot of real estate. And both were covered in stains.

Sarai
Of course.

Haley
So it was a really big challenge to fit the design that she wanted onto the fabric that we had. And she didn't want to have a contrast fabric. And she wanted a halter design, and she wanted it to be painted on her body.
It was a really challenging fit process, really challenging fabric layout. The stitches that everything was sewn together with were the most teeny. It was like a 1.5-millimeter stitch, like teeny tiny, and just taking apart everything and taking it apart really meticulously so that we didn't snag the silk and had even the seam allowances for working with. That in itself took forever.

And the fit, she was so particular about the fit that took us, I think, seven prototypes to get it just right. She also was taking a lot of boot camp classes, and her body was changing.

Sarai
Oh, no.

Haley
So that was definitely the most time-consuming project. She loved it. She looked amazing in it. So when you're making someone's wedding dress, even when it torments you, in the end, if they absolutely love it, you don't even care anymore.

Sarai
That sounds like such a satisfying project, though.

Haley
It was really satisfying.

Sarai
Repurposing those things. Yeah, that sounds really cool. I love that.

I think for me, the biggest project that I've undertaken, I think I mentioned this on a previous episode, but I made, when I was in college, some friends and I went to this big event in New Orleans, and there was a big costume ball as part of this event.

I made this very elaborate historical gown for the costume party. It was a Polonaise gown, which, if you're not familiar, is like an 18th-century style, and it has a ton, ton of gathering in it, a ton of gathering in the back, which creates a lot of volume. It almost has a little bit of a bustle look, but it's not a bustle.

This pattern I used, it was a historical pattern, and it had basically staggered gathers all along. The back was like 10 yards of fabric for the skirt, and you gather it, and these staggered gathers to create this really voluminous look. And the boy, that took a really long time. And then it has a very fitted bodice on top of that. So I made that in a... It was a white, it was this crazy fabric.

It wasn't historical not exactly accurate at all, the fabric. It was like a white taffeta with like, black flocked design all over it. It looked really cool in the end, but it was a huge amount of work and a huge amount of fabric to work with. But it looked really cool in the end, and it was a lot of fun to make something so elaborate and huge, which I haven't done since. So that was mine. And yes, I was super happy with it. I loved it. It was a really cool costume.

I don't know what I did with it. I don't know what happened to that. I guess I got rid of it at some point because I probably never used it again.

Haley
You made someone's day, week, year. Whoever found that at a thrift store.

Sarai
Yeah, I'm sure. I probably should have kept it and used it as a Halloween costume for years to come.

All right. Well, thanks for that icebreaker, Stephanie. If you have an icebreaker for us or a question you want to leave for a future episode, if you're a Seamwork member, you can just go to seamwork.com/go/icebreakers, which will take you to a thread on our community where you can leave your question.

So, let's talk about wedding outfits. Creating your own wedding dress or outfit can really really add to the specialness of the occasion. It really is just the perfect opportunity to flex your sewing skills and create a true heirloom piece. There's a lot to love about this idea, but it's also a really huge undertaking, and it can feel like the stakes are really high, and it can just feel very overwhelming at the same time. So there are benefits and there are drawbacks.

Haley, did you sew your... I know the answer to this because I was at your wedding, but did How did you sew your wedding outfit?

Haley
I did not. As I mentioned before, I've made wedding dresses before. Genevive’s was not my only wedding dress. I used to make custom wedding dresses. It was something that was not very profitable, but I did to make money.

When I got married, that was in 2016, it was pretty recent history that I had been making those dresses, and I was maybe a little traumatized. I had really good experiences with it. But also, this is something that comes with sewing for people, for a client who doesn't have a sewing background, which you can't fault them for, is that the expectations versus reality thing can be a little bit hard. I was just over it, and I already felt really stressed out by the wedding planning process.

And so I chose to buy my wedding dress, but I did... I brought it to a local tailor, and I did customize it a bit. We ripped out the bodice lining and came up with a design, a different type of design for the lining because it was a bustier-style lining. That bodice was like a sheer tool with embroidery, and it just didn't really work for me.

So we came up with a new one, and I also used a pale pink fabric to line it, and it out really cute. I did get to customize it.

Sarai
Well, that's cool. I did make my wedding dress, and it was a nontraditional wedding dress. I know I've probably talked about it on the podcast before, but it was short-ish. It was knee length, and I made it in a gold four-ply Italian silk. It was a slinky little number, and I added this really beautiful trim that I bought at Lacis in Berkeley, which is a store that specializes in historical sewing. It was this beautiful gold organza trim with white seed pearl beating all over it. I added that to the neckline, and then I added it to the hem, and it was scalloped. The trim was scalloped, so I scalloped the hem in order to match the trim. It came out really beautiful.

I really put a lot of thought and a lot of effort into it, probably the most I'd ever put into anything I'd made up until that point. I love it. I think it's absolutely gorgeous. It still feels very me, which I love, even all these years later. I'm glad that I did it. I think it was really special, and I occasionally see it hanging in its preserved bag in the back of my closet, and I still love seeing it.

There's definitely good memories attached to it, so I'm glad that I did it.

Haley
I was not there, but I've seen pictures. It's very beautiful.

What do you think are some of the benefits and the drawbacks of creating your own wedding dress or outfit? I feel like you have a special ability to speak to this as someone who's made their own.

Sarai
Well, I think we've touched on some of them. I think the benefits are that you can really customize it to not just your body, but to who you are and really use this as an an opportunity to express who you are at that point in your life on a day that is both meaningful to you and you're going to have a lot of pictures of, probably.

I think just the sentimental attachment that you can have to a garment is probably at an all-time high when you're making it for a big milestone in your life, whether that's marriage or it could be any number of things. It's your wedding day. It could also be something around your family or graduation or any of these big milestones in your life. It's something that you're going to remember for a long time.

For me, clothing is a really strong repository of memory. That's something that's important to me. I think there's also a lot of creative opportunities with it because you're making something that's not an everyday item, something that's really special. So you can really invest a lot more time and you can try techniques that maybe you haven't done before, like the scalloped tam with the beaded trim.

I hadn't done anything like that before, and it was really fun to really take the time and do that. I think all the things I love about sewing times 10.

I think the drawbacks are some of the ones that you mentioned, Haley. It's just like the stakes are high, and it can be overwhelming to think about, especially if you have a lot of other stuff going on with your wedding. If you're stressed out already, it might not be the best choice for you. You might not want to add that additional layer of stress and commitment commitment and time.

So I wouldn't say that it's something that you should pressure yourself to do if you don't feel it. I think it's just something you know whether you want to do it in your heart and just follow whatever your heart says.

Haley
Yeah. I think that It helps if this is a choice you make to have a really solid support system for not just this, the making of your dress, but also the planning of your wedding and stuff. It can alleviate a little bit of pressure.

Sarai
Yeah. Or you can just be crazy like me and do it all yourself.

Haley
Do it everything.

Sarai
For no reason at all.

Haley
I agree with a lot of the benefits that you listed, especially those related to the sentimentality of creating your own wedding dress and it just being this really special document that you get to carry with you through the rest of your life.

I think that another benefit is being able to get exactly what you want. The drawback, which is counter to getting exactly what you want, is that in my work in making custom wedding outfits, is that what is available to us as home sewers is material-wise, it's like fabrics, trim, all of that, is not the same as what is available to people who are designers.

Also recognizing that a lot of the things that you see on designer pieces and dresses were custom textiles that were created for them or custom applique. I think especially if you are interested in making something with lace, I think that what's available to home sewers lace-wise is a lot narrower selection.

Just being aware that your selection of fabric and trim and materials is going to be different than what you see.

But if you have a vision in your mind and you know that you're able to buy that type of fabric, I think that that would make you an even better candidate for making your own wedding ensemble.

If you're someone that's interested in things that are super heavily beaded, appliqueed, lace, it's not impossible, but you're going to have to just work a little bit harder to get there.

Sarai
Yeah, that's very true. I think in my case, I knew I wanted something slinky, but I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted. Then I went to Britex in San Francisco, and I saw this fabric there. It was really the most expensive fabric I'd ever a lot, but I loved it so much. I mean, it's still incredibly luxurious. Four-ply silk is basically it's silk charmeuse, but it's thick. It has a great weight to it. When I saw it, I just fell in love.

I feel like that's a big part of it, is if you have a material that you absolutely adore, then that can make the entire garment.

Haley
Yeah, definitely. Okay, I have a fun question before we get into our If you were going to sell your wedding outfit now, in 2024, what would you make?

Sarai
Oh, my gosh. You know, this is a really hard one because there's so many cool things you can do with a wedding dress. I feel like it's such a fun creative opportunity. I'd probably do something not that different from what I actually did for my wedding dress because I'm not like a fluffy... Although I like a full skirt occasionally, I'm not like a super fluffy dress person. I like something that's a little bit more sleek.

I think maybe I would do a 1930s-style gown, which is a little bit of the vibe of what my dress was, but Probably do something floor-length, maybe even with long sleeves, I think would be really, really pretty.

Something that is just sleek and long. My dress was not white, as I mentioned. I might actually do white just because I think it would be pretty, and I like the color. I think that's what I would do. I don't know.

There's just so many options, but I would definitely want to add details to it. I want to add some beading or something special. I'd also want to make a veil. I think that would be really cool and fun, just a fun project. I did for my wedding, I made a fascinator to go with the dress, which I covered in the same fabric. I think now I’d do a long, traditional, not a fluffy veil, but just a very classic 1930s-style long floor-length veil. I just think they're gorgeous.

Haley
I love a veil.

Sarai
What about you?

Haley
Well, I mean, first, I have so many questions. I'm like, Where am I getting married? What time of year?

Sarai
Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Haley
All of those things. Like me as a designer, I'm like, context is everything.

But the things that I can say are that when I set out, when I first started shopping for wedding dresses, I did not want a white dress. I actually wanted something that was silver, not like metallic silver, but like a pale silver color or pink, pale pink. And I tried on a bunch of things.

And you know what? My mom really pooh-poohed the idea, and I think I gave into the peer pressure. I do have a picture on my phone of a pink, I don't know, I want to call it Grecian because that makes it sound more basic than it was. And I'm like, Man, why didn't I get that dress? That was really awesome. And I ended up going with something that was ivory and then adding the pink lining. I wish I would have just gone, fully gone for it.

I also think that I did not want something that was too fluffy, but I did end up with something that had a lot of net and tulle, and the skirt was a little bit more…It wasn't a princess dress, but it was a little bit more A-line. I I would go with something probably a little bit sleeker, the fabric at least.

But it would definitely be pink, and it would either be full length or tea length, I think. Maybe I'll have to plan a Vow renewal someday, make a fancy dress.

Sarai
I know. It's really a shame to only get married once. Maybe for your next marriage.

Haley
Yeah, maybe. Sorry, Eric. I really need to sew another wedding dress.

Sarai
Well, let's get into some of the tips. Again, I think a lot of these apply for any big occasion that you're making a garment for. It doesn't necessarily have to be your own wedding.

The first one is to start early. I think this is really important. Begin the whole process well in advance of whatever the date is. This is something that I did, and I'm really glad that I did it and gave myself that extra time. It can be also really helpful to schedule in some milestone dates and to really treat yourself like you're the client as well as the designer, and make sure that you have a schedule for yourself.

Because wedding gowns, they often involve a lot of intricate design and a lot of detailing, and so giving yourself ample time really allows for any unexpected challenges or revisions that you might need to do.

It also helps you to manage stress and just ensure that you have enough time for all the fittings and all the adjustments that may come up as you move along. You hope for the best, but expect the worst when it comes to things like this. Make sure that you've built in a lot of time, and maybe even have a little bit of a plan B if things don't go exactly according to plan.

Haley
That's the most important first tip when you are in the early phases of planning and making your own wedding ensemble.

My next tip would be to choose the right fabric. I think earlier in the episode, I was really waxing on about fabric and the availability of it, which is a big reason I would suggest maybe starting with fabric in a lot of ways.

Sometimes when designing, you start with fabric, sometimes you start with the design itself. But in the case of a wedding dress, I think that maybe doing those two things side by side is very useful.

And also just selecting the appropriate fabric is really crucial for the look and also how you're going to feel in your wedding outfit. So you'll want to consider things like the season, the venue of your wedding, as well as your personal preferences. And think about the silhouette that you're trying to create. And remember that fabrics that are more fluid are really going to be good for creating a draped silhouette. But if you’re trying to create body, you need fabric that has body. So looking for ways to build that body in, even if the fabric doesn't inherently have body, can you use tulle or make a crinoline or underline the bodice to create a little bit more body.

And then the same thing goes for if you're making a wedding suit, considering the venue and the climate and your comfort are also important. Maybe you're having a more casual wedding or a warm climate wedding, and a linen suit is going to be a lot more appropriate or a seersucker suit.

So taking all of those things into consideration as you're selecting your fabric.

And then lastly, in regards to fabric, make sure that you're purchasing far more fabric than you think that you need for any unforeseen alterations or mistakes you make.

If you need to cut your bodice all over again, you don't want to go back to that fabric store and discover that they don't have that anymore. It's really a valuable insurance policy.

Sarai
Yeah, that's a really good point. It can be hard to do when the fabric's expensive, but it is important to have that insurance.

Number three is to go above and beyond with your muslin. Just anticipate that one mockup might not be enough, and it could take you a few different prototypes to get the fit just the way you want it. So plan at least a couple muslins before making your final garment.

Another thing is not to skimp on the details of that final muslin. Be sure to sew in the zipper and do the finishes that are necessary in order for you to get a really precise idea of the fit so you're not just guessing.

Another thing is to remember to test your ability to move in your muslin. Be able to move around, be able to sit, be able to dance, do all the things that you want to do on the actual day. That's a good practice just for making muslins, generally, is to make sure that you can do all the things that you would be doing in this garment.

But it's something especially important to remember on a day when you're making something that, first of all, could possibly inhibit movement and that you want to be able to move around and hug people, make sure that you can raise your arms in front of you and do all the things that you want to do on your wedding day.

Haley
Yeah, super valuable, especially in those silhouettes and designs where things like off-the-shoulder designs can be a little bit trickier for your arm mobility. Strapless designs for different reasons because you don't want to have a wardrobe malfunction. Just checking all of those things because oftentimes with a wedding outfit, it is going to be a fit that is a little bit... I mean, to be honest, it's just slightly less comfortable and less mobility than your everyday outfit.

Sarai
Speaking of strapless, on my wedding day, my dress was not strapless, but I had months before gone to my brother's college graduation and had worn a strapless sundress, and I'd gotten such a bad sunburn that I had this strip across the top of my chest that was just darker. It was almost scarred. No, it wasn't scarred because it healed, but it took months and months to heal. It was this dark strip across the top of my boobs.

And my wedding dress was a little bit low-cut. So all my wedding day, I have these stripes across my chest. That's how it was. I didn't change the dress.

Haley
You can't put makeup on and then get it on, especially if your dress is white.

Sarai
Yeah.

Haley
So bonus tip, wear sunblock leading up.

Sarai
The reason I had these stripes is that I thought I had put enough sunblock on, but I wasn't used to wearing something strapless that goes across like that. And so I hadn't put it down low enough, I guess. And the sun was above and beating down. So, yeah, I got a stripe on the whitest part of my body.

Haley
My pale girl pro tip is always apply sunblock nude.

Sarai
Yeah.

Haley
Okay. Moving on to our next tip. Make sure that you're personalizing your ensemble with some personalized detail. I think that personal touches make your wedding outfit truly unique. It can make it feel a little bit more sentimental.

You can add meaningful embellishments, embroidery, special fabrics that are a little sentimental to you.

Some examples of this that I've seen are just like, yeah, special embroideries, like the name of your partner or your wedding date, somewhere hidden on the garment. I've also seen people who have utilized an heirloom, like a handkerchief or a textile from a loved one, into a pocket, a secret pocket in their gown, or something like that. I think it's important to remember that your wedding outfit is one of a kind, so don't be afraid to reflect that. You're not necessarily trying to recreate something that's ready to wear. You're making something that's unique to you, so have a little bit of fun with it, too.

Sarai
Yeah. One thing we did for our wedding was Kenn had his suit custom-made in San Francisco. There's somebody there, a tailor named Al. It's called Al's Attire. I don't know if it's still there. It's in North Beach. He just made the most beautiful custom men's wear and coats. What he did is he took some of the fabric, the scrap fabric from my wedding dress, and he made a pocket square for Kenn and embroidered it with our names and the date on it. That was really cool and really special, and we still have that.

Haley
I love that. I carried my grandmother's handkerchief on my wedding day, and if I would have sewn my dress, she gave me a few of them, and I would have incorporated that somehow into the dress.

Sarai
Yeah.

Haley
Oh, dress regrets.

Sarai
Well, nothing's ever perfect. I think that's a good thing to remember. When it comes to big milestone events like this, like weddings, there's so much pressure to make everything just so. It's not necessary for everything to be perfect. It's really just about creating the feeling that you want to have.

Well, the next tip is related to my other tip about muslins, which is to plan for fittings and alterations. This is not just at the muslin stage, but you're going to need to probably tweak the fit a little bit even beyond that.

Make sure that you're trying your garment on throughout the whole construction phase as well. You can even schedule a formal fitting of the final or close to the final garment and invite maybe a trusted friend or a family member to come over and support you or even just to help you pin. That can be really, really helpful.

But just build in that time so that even once you've got your final or close to the final thing done, you can still make those last-minute tweaks. Often, you need those last-minute tweaks as well.

Haley
Yeah, especially when you're moving from muslin to your fashion fabric, those fabrics are going to behave differently. So trying on throughout the process and just planning on having to sometimes take two steps forward, one step back due to those little tweaks you'll have to make along the way.

And lastly, this is a bonus tip, but this tip is to seek professional guidance. If you're newer to sewing or you're tackling a design that's really complex and maybe a little bit reaching above your skill level, consider seeking advice from a professional seamstress or even attending some sewing workshops that will help you enhance your skills.

For instance, if you really have your heart set on exploring some beading for your outfit, then maybe taking a special class, even if it can't be in person, on beading would be really beneficial to you. They can offer you some really valuable insights and tips and guidance and ensure that your wedding outfit turns out just as you envision.

Another thing that you can do is enlist a local tailor to help you with some of those finishing touches. Oftentimes, it can be hard to judge hemlines on your own. If you don't have someone near and dear to you that can help you meticulously pin things, it could be beneficial to just go to a pro for that.

They can also help to make any fine-tuned adjustments that you might need to make in your wedding dress or wedding outfit. I would just recommend maybe coordinating with them in advance. Some people are more receptive to working with home-sewn garments than other people are. So I would just coordinate that bit in advance if that was something you were looking to do.

Sarai
Yeah. And I'll add in one resource that might be helpful for anybody who's interested in making a wedding dress, which is Susan Khalje’s book called Bridal Couture. You can Google it. It's on her website. It used to be a print book, but now she has it available as a PDF that you can download.

It has some amazing techniques for working with lace, especially. Piecing lace, doing really interesting things with specialty bridal fabrics.

It's great for eveningwear as well. You don't have to just use these techniques for bridal. I think it's the thing where you will be inspired just looking at these techniques.

Even if you're not in the market for a wedding dress right now, seeing how you can do all these really specialized things with these really specialized fabrics is super, super inspiring to me.

There are probably things that you could incorporate into non-occasion sewing as well. I just looked it up. It's $28 for the book, so it's not super expensive. If you want to learn a little bit more about this, I highly recommend that. All right, well, let me recap our tips for you today.

Our first tip is to start early. Make sure to give yourself enough time.

Second tip is to choose the right fabric for yourself.

Third tip is to go above and beyond with your muslin.

The fourth tip is to personalize with details.

Fifth tip is to plan for fittings and alterations even after the muslin stage.

The sixth tip, which is our bonus tip, is to seek professional guidance where needed.

All right, what's your big takeaway, Haley?

Haley
I think that my big takeaway is more of a suggestion for listeners, which is I think that it's really a fun experience to sew, even if it's not your own wedding outfit, to sew something really special for yourself or someone else once in your sewing career.

I think that it is a really fun confidence-building challenge and something that you'll walk away from with a lot of really valuable lessons and experience.

Sarai
Absolutely. I think it can be something that really stays with you for the rest of your life. I’ve talked about this a couple of times, and it's hard for me to talk about. But when my grandmother, my father's mother, was at the end of her life, we were with her. She was in Hospice. I mean, this was the final days. She had lost a lot of her memories, and she didn't necessarily know who we were because she was on a lot of morphine at that time.

She still remembered a suit that she had made for her mother. It was like a reversible suit that she had made for her mother. She was talking about her mother a lot.

This was one of her final memories that stayed with her until the very, very end of her life.

I think about that all the time and how precious that must have been to her and how precious it must have been to her own mother to be embedded in her mind that way.

I think it really showed me that these things that we create with our hands are not just trivial pursuits that we're using instead of shopping or whatever.

There are things that really do matter in our lives and our ways to mark our lives in really meaningful and special ways, both for ourselves and for other people. I think a wedding dress is one opportunity to do that, but there are many opportunities to do that in our lives.

You never know what might be the thing that stays with you for the rest of your life, too. That's my takeaway for today.

All right. Well, to end us off today, I do want to recommend one more resource for you, which is our Fit Journal. Our Fit Journal walks you through a really simple fitting process that can help demystify getting the fit you want. It includes worksheets for taking and appearing measurements, for choosing your size, and for making adjustments. When we use it over time, it really helps you to find your perfect fit. It's available for free at seamwork.com/go/fitjournal.

If you like this episode, please consider leaving us a review. We have a review today from Vicky D. Who left a comment on our Pinterest episode, and she said, “I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed this episode. I look on Pinterest but did not know how to utilize the site. You really opened my eyes to looking at new things and ways to use it. Love listening to you.”

That's really sweet. Thank you so much, Vicki. That's really you. I'm just really grateful for everybody who leaves a review like this, taking the time to actually say something nice. It's really meaningful to me. So thank you so much.

You can also follow us on YouTube at Seamwork Video. That's where I share a lot of the projects that I'm making myself. You can follow us on Instagram at Seamwork. If you'd like to join Seamwork and become part of our private community, plus get access to hundreds of sewing patterns and dozens of sew-along classes, podcast listeners get a 50% off lifetime discount when you join at seamwork.com/go/podcast50.

That is it for this week. I'm Sarai.

Haley
And I'm Haley.

Sarai
And this is Seamwork Radio.