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How to Sew When You Feel Stressed Out

Feeling stressed out? In this episode, Sarai and Haley talk about why it’s hard to sew when you’re stressed, and they share super practical tips for using sewing as a way to remove stress and not add to it.

Posted in: Seamwork Radio Podcast • May 16, 2022 • Episode 90

I can be so hard to make time for things when you're stressed. When you're really stressed out, do you find yourself sewing less? Maybe that's ok, but in this episode, Sarai and Haley explore ways to make it easier to create when you're feeling this way along with some ideas for using sewing as a way to remove stress and not add to it.

Podcast Transcript

Sarai
I'm Sarai.

Haley
And I'm Haley.

Sarai
And this is Seamwork Radio. Welcome back to Seamwork Radio. So today we're talking about how to sew when you're feeling stressed out. We're going to cover why it's so hard to make time for things when we're stressed, how to make it easier to create when you're feeling this way, and some super practical tips and tricks for using sewing as a way to remove stress and not add to it.

So we're going to start with our icebreaker today. Do you have a tried and true sewing project when you need a win? What do you think, Haley? Do you have one?

Haley
Probably—it changes from time to time. Like, I don't have like one that I always have done and always will do. But really anything that doesn't require fitting, I think is usually one of the really like ingredients to make sure that you're like definitely get I feel successful. I've been into hair accessories the last year. Our Drew headband is really fun to make. It uses the tiniest scraps and you can make it in like 30 minutes and scrunchies. Those have been my like go to projects lately. But I, you know, I do love a good tote bag. Like a simple line tote bag. Always feels good.

Sarai
Yeah. I made the Drew headband and scrunchies for holiday gifts last year and they're just so fun to sew. And I love making anything that you can use scraps for, and it just makes me feel so good to use up those leftover pieces of fabric that I have laying around that I always hold on to longer than I should.

Haley
Yeah. And it, like, makes the win feel, like, even more successful when you're, like, making something that's cute and you like. It's quick. You're using scraps for things like that. You usually use, like, more fun fabrics. So it like, really like brings layers of enjoyment to a project, I think.

Sarai
Yeah. I think for me, when I need a win, I really like making things for my home and they're so fast and easier and you don't have to worry about fitting and you get to use them or see them all the time. So things like pillows or dish towels, cute little tea towels. I bake a lot of bread, so I'm always using two towels for baking bread. Those things you can use fun fabrics just like you said, and you can use scraps. Those are probably my favorite quick ones, but I also like making little bags and pouches and things like that. I've been thinking I need to do a little bit more of that lately. It would be really nice to get in some of those really fun quick sewing projects. I think.

Haley
Yeah.

Sarai
Everybody needs a win. Everybody needs a quick win in their pocket for sure. So if you have an icebreaker that you want to share with us, we'll use it on a future episode. If you're a member, you just go to seamwork.com/go/ icebreakers and if you go there, it'll redirect you to the thread we have on the community where you can share an idea for an icebreaker and we'll probably use it in a future episode. We always pick from them when we're choosing icebreakers for episodes, so thank you to everybody else who's already contributed one as well.

So today we want to talk about stress. And I feel like sometimes when I'm stressed, not even sometimes, I would say most of the time when I'm stressed, that's when I'm the least likely to do things that will help me to de-stress. And I was thinking about this, and I think a lot of the reason for that is that a lot of my stress and I think this is probably true for a lot of people, a lot of my stress comes from constraints on my time, just being very busy or very overwhelmed.

And so because of that, when you're feeling really, really busy or you're feeling overwhelmed, then it can feel impossible to make more time for yourself, even though that's exactly what you need at that moment. So it's sort of a conundrum. And I think for me, what's been the most helpful is just having some really kind of processes set in place beforehand. When I'm not in that mindset, when I'm not feeling terrible so that I can turn to them in that moment, I can recognize, Aha, I'm feeling really stressed out. Here's what I said I would do when I'm feeling stressed out.

So we wanted to give you some tips around that today because Haley and I are both in a very, very busy time right now. We're both super busy at work. We've been working really hard on this big new project that we're going to be sharing with you soon. And I think we're both feeling a little bit fatigued and excited, but it's challenging.

We're very challenged right now and I think probably —can't speak for you, Haley—but for me it's been really vital to have some practices that I can turn to when I feel this way, because everybody feels stressed from time to time. And the real challenge is how you deal with it again and again, because it's always going to come up again. So I was thinking, we were talking about this earlier and I was thinking about, yeah, I've had a lot of time pressure this year from probably since January. I've just been kind of go, go, go mode. And I hadn't been doing a lot of things for myself and hadn't been doing a lot of sewing. But I finally sat down and made a dress a little while back. And once I did, I just I really enjoyed the whole process. And I remembered how much joy sewing gives me and how much it helps me to relax and enjoy just the process of making something with my hands.

So, yeah. What about you, Haley? Are there times when you felt that way like you were under a lot of pressure or stress and having trouble making time for things like this?

Haley
Yes, definitely. There's lots of times I can think of, but one stands out to me is a couple of years ago when Charley, my daughter, was just maybe like five months old. It was my first Mother's Day and, like to set the stage a little, this was the very early COVID pandemic lockdown kind of time. I had returned to work, but my husband had gotten laid off. And it was just this like really stressful, chaotic time because having an infant that young is really stressful and chaotic. But also the world was upside down for me, like it was for everyone else, and it was Mother's Day. And Eric, my husband, was like. Haley. I want to take Charley all day. I'm going to take care of her. I want you to, like, do your own thing all day long, which I was really grateful for. But I was like, all I wanted to do is just, like, curl up in a ball and sleep for 14 hours, which honestly probably would have been a really great use of my time.

But I was like, no, I didn't want to feel like I was wasting my time and like I was going to have like, FOMO, I guess. And so I was like, okay, I'm going to, like, go into my sewing room, which I hadn't sewn anything for a while, and I'm going to make something and I like dug through my fabric. And I found Quince already printed out and cut out and I found some fabric I could make it with. And so I just spent the better half of that day, just slowly not rushing, sewing that Quince. And I made like a little robe for myself because I was at home all the time. I'm like, I'm aware of this, all right? In time, I made it in this fabric that I one of my favorite fabrics that I love so much. And when I was done, I just felt so—I guess the word is refreshed and also, like proud of myself for like taking time for myself to do something nice like that.

A nap probably would have been advisable as well. I wish someone would have like hit me over the head and been like, girl, go take a nap. But I still wear that robe all the time, probably every single day. And it's like a little self-care reminder for myself.

Sarai
Mm hmm. Yeah, I think that we'll talk about this a little bit later, but just that decision about “what do I need right now at this moment?” Do I need just more sleep? Do I need to just do nothing for a little while and just decompress and not do anything? Or do I need to do something that's going to make me feel connected to myself or you're going to make me feel just creative? Or What is it that I need at that moment? The first point is just deciding, you know, what you need, which I think is it's a decision. You know, it's like sometimes you really do need to just do nothing.

Haley
Yeah. And I think in that moment I probably needed, and I recognized this on some level, like I needed to feel like a little bit in control of something. Everything was so like circumstantial, so out of my control and being able to like press pause on the world and close the door to my sewing space and be behind the wheels for a little bit felt really great. Also, when you have like a young kid, infant like that, you can't finish any task from start to finish. It was the most frustrating thing of becoming a new parent for me is you can't even, like, unload the dishwasher from start to finish. It can be a project that takes you all day. And so it felt really good to have a sense of completion.

Sarai
Mm hmm.

Haley
And I think that lots of, like, you know, it's not just, like, new parents who feel that way. There's lots of times in my life I felt that way, and I'm sure other people can relate.

Sarai
Yeah. What are some other things that help you to de-stress when you're feeling stressed out?

Haley
I think going on a walk and getting outside, if the weather allows, is like my number one, I think, you know, like we're just like very we can be like, treat yourself like a complicated, like, house plant. Water yourself, go drink a glass of water, go get some sunlight. It's just, I guess, getting in touch with things that bring me joy. In general, whether that's, like, creative project or physical movement or something like that. What about you?

Sarai
I love going for walks. I should probably do that more, especially now it's getting warmer. I think for me, it comes back to what we kind of just talked about, which is figuring out what I need at that moment. And sometimes it's a nice hot bath and reading a book and just lounging for a little while. And sometimes it's doing something like cooking some food or baking a cake or sewing something, or it just depends on what my needs are at that moment. And I feel like it's really important to find what the right balance is for you and for that that particular point in time. I do think it's really important to not use your creative hobbies as another way to put pressure on yourself, to do more and more and more and feel like, Oh, this is something I have to do. This is something that I told myself I would do. Whatever story you're telling yourself about it. I fall into that trap all the time still. And. It's something I really try to keep an eye out for because it can be difficult.

Sarai
I think when you're a creative person, it can be difficult not to transform whatever you're doing, whatever you're creating, into just another way to be productive and another way to get stuff done or to fulfill some kind of promise you made to yourself. That's kind of how I feel about it, at least in my head. I think in practical terms, it doesn't always work out that way. Sometimes I still write. I still end up putting pressure on myself and feeling terrible about things. And that's something I've struggled with lately, which I want to. Well, I'll talk about a little bit more when we get to our tips today. Things that I've kind of uncovered through this the last few months.

Haley
Yeah, I think that it can be hard to kick yourself like into gear to start a creative project when you're stressed out, particularly stressed for time, because creative projects oftentimes are a big time commitment. And so it just feels like, like you said, one more thing on your to do list. Something that I always like try and work on is kind of like lowering my point of entry for a project. And I'll do this by breaking things into little bits like clearing my sewing space beforehand or prepping all of my notions or pre washing my fabric, things like that. But are there any ways that you lower your point of entry to make it easier to like, get started when you're struggling to just get started?

Sarai
Yeah, there are a few things and this applies to sewing or any kind of creative thing. But also these are things that I do at work as well. I think if I'm struggling to get started on something like you said, I think just kind of clearing the decks and making sure that you're prepared for it all, have everything in place that makes it a lot easier. I think another thing that is helpful for me is just having maybe a set time to do the work. And so you feel like it's at least bounded in some way and if you're feeling stressed for time, that can be really helpful because you know, you have a certain amount of time you said you would dedicate to this and you know, depending on what it is and turning out, how you're feeling at the moment is not something I would advise in every situation.

But sometimes it can be nice to just tell yourself, okay, I'm just going to give myself half an hour, I'm just going to give myself an hour and see what I can get done. There's no pressure to finish any particular part of this project or to get the whole thing done. It's just I'm just going to enjoy doing this for this amount of time and that that's always something that's been helpful to me. And I use it at work, too.

I'm very fond of the Pomodoro method, if anybody's heard of that. You set a timer for a certain amount of time. I think traditionally it's like 25 minutes and then you take a five-minute break or something like that. That's helpful for me and just kind of kicking myself into gear. Making sure that I, that I feel like, okay, I'm getting started now. I'm going to do this now I'm doing this for a certain amount of time and just enjoy it. So those are the things that help me. What about you? Is there anything besides, like, getting your space cleared that you feel like helps you to prepare?

Haley
I think that definitely like clearing my space and like also kind of like setting the stage for like enjoyable environment is definitely something that I do. I'll like open up the windows nice and wide and I'll do little things like trick myself, like I'm just going to go tidy up my sewing desk. And then sometimes it kind of like snowballs from there. So I'll like do little like mind tricks like that. Like I only have to sew one seam and most of the time you end up wanting to do more than that. Like, yeah, brain trickery is helpful for me.

Sarai
Yeah. You hear that a lot about the people with working out that you just have to get your shoes on and tell yourself you're going to do it for 5 minutes and then you end up it ends up feeling good and you end up doing it for an hour.

Haley
Totally, totally similar. Why do you think that creative activities help us to de-stress?

Sarai
Well, I think for me, a big thing is shifting of gears and shifting of ways of thinking. I think a lot of times we're kind of stuck in this very left-brain mode of always doing, always trying to be productive, get a certain amount of stuff done to satisfy other people. We kind of put ourselves into this almost machine-like mode a lot of the time, especially at work, I think, and being able to shift into that right brain mode where you're feeling a little bit. More open, a little bit more available, a little bit more. You notice things a lot more. You're paying attention a lot more. You're using your body a little bit more. I think that completely changes the way that you're experiencing life in that moment and having that practice of doing that, of going back to that mode of thinking over and over again. There's lots of ways to do that. I think creative activities, whether it's sewing or drawing or whatever it is, are one way to do that.

There's lots of other ways to do that. But I think the more you can kind of shift your brain into that way of thinking, the more practice you have at that, I just think the happier you're going to be, because I think that's a place that we humans don't spend enough time. And that's mostly because our society has kind of trained us that the left-brain side of things is more important. And that's not necessarily true. That's my own philosophy on it. Do you find that they help you de-stress? Do you feel like less stressed when you are doing something creative like sewing?

Haley
I think it really like goes back to what we were talking about earlier of like it helps me de-stress if that's what I need in that moment. If I need to switch gears, then yes. But if really what I need to do is rest, then I feel like I'm just like fighting an uphill battle the whole time. So I think it really depends. I also have lots of different creative hobbies, so it's taken some like practice to recognize which one is going to feel best to me in that moment. I think that. Sewing can be, depending on the kind of sewing you're doing, can be a little bit physically taxing. So if I'm like, feeling like my body needs to rest and my mind needs to work through a puzzle of sorts, then I'll choose something different.

Sarai
Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I feel like most of my my hobbies that help me de-stress are very physically taxing. So that's a good point. Things like gardening is extremely physically.

Haley
Taxing.

Sarai
For me.

Haley
Yeah, a lot of mine are. Which is why I've recently picked up painting, because it's just, like, a little bit more static.

Sarai
Mm hmm.

Haley
The kind of painting I'm doing anyway.

Sarai
Yeah. It's a great segue to our first tip, which is to begin with, just decide if you're feeling like you're in a high energy state or a low energy state. So are you feeling like you need to just you just need rest. You just need to calm your nervous system. You need to relax, do nothing for a little while. Then maybe you're in more of a low energy state and maybe doing nothing is the answer. Or are you feeling maybe moderate to high energy? Like you can physically move a little bit, you want to physically move, you kind of want to work those things out. I think movement is a really, really great way to remove stress on a physiological level. So if you are feeling that, I think maybe that's the way to go and just kind of asking yourself that question. We've talked about this already, but I think it is really important to spend time not doing anything productive that you give yourself time to do nothing. I was telling Haley earlier I bought this book that I used to have years and years ago.

It's a small kind of gift book that is a series of essays and photographs by this writer named Veronique Vienne. And she's a is was an art director. And she also wrote this series of books. And one of them is called The Art of Doing Nothing. And I used to have this book, and I just found it really soothing. So I saw it on Amazon. And I just bought a copy of it. And I was reading it in the bathtub the other day. And it it was very soothing. And it gives you a lot of ideas for how to spend time just doing nothing and not feel guilty about it. So we'll put a link to that book in the show notes. Maybe you can find a copy and maybe use copy on Amazon or at your library too. It's a really sweet book, so if you are feeling low energy, don't feel bad about spending time doing nothing. I think it's vital to our wellbeing to do that. And I also think it's important not to not to have guilt about not being productive.

That can be a big source of stress in and of itself. So that's the first step. The second one is if you are feeling kind of in that moderate zone, like maybe you do want to do something but maybe don't have a ton of energy, make a low energy sewing menu for yourself. So Haley and I were talking about this, and we both really like the idea of having kind of menus for various things, especially around self-care, things that you can do for yourself. Just because, like we talked about earlier, it can be so difficult to make those healthy choices when you're in the middle of feeling terrible. And so if you can make it easy for yourself to make those healthy choices, then do it. And I think one way to do that is just to have some little list, some little menus of things that you can do that are going to make you feel better and that are going to be easy to do. So the idea here is to create a list of things that you could do that are sewing related, that are don't take a ton of energy.

Maybe they don't take a ton of time. Maybe it's projects like what we talked about before, making things for your house or making scrunchies or anything that is just going to give you that sense of well-being without requiring a lot from you if you don't have a lot to give. So I think that's a really fantastic idea and it can really just I'm just all about making it easy for yourself when you're in a bad place. Anything you can do to kind of have a trigger and then have a way to respond to that trigger, I think can be really, really helpful.

So my next tip is one that I have really started to kind of come to terms with in the last few months, and that tip is to throw out your to do list. So for me, I am a list maker. I love making lists. I think this all started many years ago when I first read the book Getting Things Done by David Allen, which my husband Kenn recommended to me, and that was the first productivity book I'd ever read because I was like, I am not a productivity person.

This is not going to be for me. And then I read it and I was like, Yes, this is going to make my life easier. And it has made my life much, much easier in a lot of ways, but it's also made me very reliant on having systems in place for doing things. And to do lists for me are one of those systems and I have just found lately that they have been really sucking the joy out of everything in my life. So I am still all about lists and having everything written down and documented and in a system when it comes to big projects like work projects, things like that. But I was finding myself just making lists on the weekends, you know, I would have a list on the counter and it would include all of these things I felt like I had to do, and a lot of them were things that I really enjoyed doing. But once I put them on a list, they just became like a To-Do item and something that I told myself that I was going to get done that day and then like it totally transform the way I related to it.

And so, you know, I love cooking, for example, but I would have make banana bread on my list. And then all of a sudden it was like, I just have to do this so I can check it off and move on to the next thing. Because I only have this certain number of hours in the day and I have so many things on my list. How am I to get this all done? So I would say one of the things that I've really had to come to terms with is like, not everything needs to be on a list. Maybe you'll forget some of it. Who cares? You know, when it comes to things that are just supposed to be things that you enjoy or that are going to bring you a sense of peace in your life, like don't you don't have to worry about it that much. Or at least I don't. So if you're a recovering list maker like myself, it's funny. I don't even consider myself like a Type A person at all.

Like, I consider myself very much not. But it's like I've learned to be a Type A person over the years. Yeah, it is really, really interesting and I've had to let some of that go, you know.

Haley
Yeah, I think that also throwing out the to-do list, which is something that I'm also very guilty of, is making a list for everything has helped me to like live more in like the moment and also be more in tuned with what I need in that moment. Whether making banana bread sounds good or going on a walk, or really like being more in tune with your specific needs in that moment. Not on Friday night when you frantically jotted down that list.

Sarai
Mm hmm. Yeah, that's a really good point. I think that experience of of time and, like, understanding what you need when you close to the time, what you're going to be experiencing, it is so important. And I think that's been something that I've I've been missing a lot of the time lately. So it's just like a really good a really good life lesson for me and hopefully it's helpful for some of you.

The next tip that I have is if you're using a creative activity like sewing as a way to de-stress, I find it really helpful to create a positive experience around it all together. So maybe that means for you, like closing the doors of your sewing room, putting on some music that you really love, pouring yourself some of your favorite tea, or maybe a glass of wine. If you're not too worried about spilling it, whatever really helps you to just relax and create a really positive feeling around the entire experience of sewing. I think that makes a huge difference. If I feel like I'm just like, okay, I'm just going to step into my sewing room and do this for a little while and then go back to whatever else I was doing.

Just doesn't have the same calming effect as if I make it into more of a ritual. I think that's something that's been really, really helpful to me as well. Do you have things that you do, Haley, that help you to make sewing feel like a break or?

Haley
Oh yeah.

Sarai
Moment of serenity.

Haley
Something that I kind of like recognize what I kind of need in that moment. If I'm more in the, like, tea and gentle music and all the windows drawn open really wide. And sometimes I want to, like, pour a glass of wine and have reality TV on in the background. From when I'm sewing, it's something to like, distract my, I don't know, like lizard brain, something just totally, like, chaotic that takes me out of, like, my inner monologue. Yeah, it can kind of be helpful while I keep my hands busy, but I definitely love, like, watching some reality TV. Sometimes when I'm sewing, I think that it's it's fun. And also it's just like, yeah, I think it helps me to, like, take my brain out of a loop if that's kind of the problem that I'm struggling with in that moment.

Sarai
Yeah, I definitely feel that way too. I feel like I listen to podcasts a lot while I'm sewing. I'm sure a lot of our listeners do, too. If you listen to this one, you're probably a podcast person. So I find that really soothing because the kinds of podcasts I listen to are often not always, but are often more like story telling type podcasts. And so it kind of just takes me out of my world for a little bit. And I think I don't know. Stories can really have a way of they do something different to your brain and kind of help you to, I don't know, connect to other people or there's just like this, I don't want to say distraction, but it, it almost is like just a, a different world that you get to inhabit for a little bit. So, I don't know. That can be a break. I feel like that's one of the ways, whether it's reality TV or a podcast or whatever it is that you can, like, lower the bar for yourself in a way and just say it will have this.

Like, I'm going to just totally take a break from my world and go into this other world for a little while. And just that in itself is something that can make it feel more approachable, I think.

Haley
Yeah, definitely. It's like a little vacation. I did that for a while with them when I could, like when I was at the gym and I, like, never want to do cardio at the gym. I just want to, like, do something fun and like lift heavy things instead. So I really have to bribe myself to do cardio. And I would watch a Game of Thrones is back when Game of Thrones was like happening still. And I would watch that on like the treadmill or the elliptical or the Stairmaster. And then I was like, Man, someone's going to look over my shoulders and be like.

Sarai
What is going on over there?

Haley
Someone's getting, like, beheaded or something. Yeah, something spicy is happening. And so I'd have to, like, pick the machine that I was on, like, strategically, like, make sure there isn't, like, an audience. Fine.

Sarai
Yeah, yeah, I do that, too, because I'm not, like, a cardio person either. And we got a treadmill because I feel like I barely walk anymore since the pandemic started. So we got a treadmill for the colder winter months and I watched YouTube videos on it like every day. And just like choose some silly YouTube video usually likes just some like funny videos and I watched them while I walk. It's super relaxing. Like, it's just like, completely takes me out of anything else that's going on. It just makes me laugh. I think maybe that's another tip. Laughter's a really good way to de-stress, so maybe a funny podcast is what you need.

Haley
Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Tip number five. Wow.

Sarai
Yeah, watch, like, ridiculous YouTube videos.

Haley
I'm a fan. I like it. All right. Well, we covered a lot of ground today. I'm going to do a little recap. So we offered four tips to you for sewing when you feel stressed. Tip number one is to decide whether you're feeling high or low energy and try and match your activity to what you're feeling in that moment. Tip two is to make a low energy sewing menu for yourself. It can be a lot easier to choose something creative when the decision is kind of like made for you. In a way, you only have to choose from a multiple choice menu of items so you can create your own sewing menu. You can make one for low energy, high energy. You can make menus for other parts of your life. It's something that I've started practicing in really helps me. Tip number three is to throw out that to do list, making to do list for, you know, the fun stuff can suck out the joy. So if that's something that's happening in your life, you know, throw it out, burn it in the fire, get rid of it.

And tip number four is to try and create a positive experience around your sewing or your creative practice. Make a pot of tea or a glass of wine. Put some music on. Put some Real Housewives on. You know, like, whatever, whatever floats your boat.

So those are the tips that we have for you today. If you want to learn more about these kinds of things or explore a little bit more. Our last episode was about three steps for helping you get past sewing mistakes or failures. So if your stresses surrounding making a mistake, then maybe check out that episode, you might find it helpful.

And in our next episode next week, we're going to cover some creative exercises you can do when you only have 10 minutes. So if you're feeling really stressed for time, definitely listen to that episode for some ideas.

One really good low energy sewing activity is to just make some future sewing plans that. Is where our free sewing planter comes, and it's a printable tool that you can use to help you design and plan your sewing projects. It includes pages for sketching your looks, planning your individual projects with sketches, swatches, all of that fun stuff. And then you can print as many pages as you want. And best of all is available for free. You can check it out at seamwork/com/go/free-planner.

And if you enjoyed this episode, we would love it if you could leave us a review. We read every single one of them and they mean so much to us. Here is a review from Gracie Lou. She says, “I've been popping on this delightful podcast while sewing lately, and it feels like I'm sewing with friends. Although I've been sewing since I was 11, I'm now 41. I've learned so many good tips and tricks from these talented ladies. They're always coming in clutch with encouragement and motivation to keep on making cool stuff. Also Seamwork the site is legit.” Thanks, Gracie Lou. I think it's legit, too.

Sarai
Yeah, it's legit.

Haley
Totally legit. Yeah. And this California girl really appreciates the choice of words.

Sarai
They're so good.

Haley
So if you leave us a review, we might read it on a future episode like we did with this one. If you're stressed for time, you can just like us or subscribe.

And that is all that we have for you today.

Sarai
If you're feeling stressed, I hope you feel better. Be nice to yourself.

Haley
Me too.

Sarai
And we'll see you next week. I'm Sarai.

Haley
I'm Haley.

Sarai
And this is Seamwork Radio.

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