Show Notes

• Portland Frocktails


• 
  Bowling Alone by Robert Putnam.


• 5 More Sewing YouTube Channels to Follow Right Now


• 
  Podcast listeners get half off an unlimited Seamwork membership when you use this link, plus you get to keep that price as long as you’re a member!


• Tell us your idea for the next icebreakers for makers!

Podcast Transcript

Sarai
I'm Sarai.

Haley
And I'm Haley.

Sarai
And this is Seamwork Radio.

Sarai
Welcome back to Seamwork Radio, where we share practical ideas for building a creative process so you can sew with intention and joy.

Today, we're talking about how to connect with other people within the sewing community. And we're going to cover why community matters so much, the three pillars of a healthy community, and a variety of ways that you can engage in the community depending on your own personality.

So our icebreaker for today. Haley, what's the most fun sewing meetup that you've ever been to?

Haley
Generally, I have a lot of fun when I go to these meetups and things like that, so it's kind of hard to say. I've always loved all of the Portland Frocktails that I've gone to.

If your city doesn't have a Frocktails or you're unfamiliar, it's basically just a big party where everybody sews something kind of fun, kind of a frosting-type thing for yourself, and then you just hang out and talk about sewing.

Sometimes there's, like, pattern swaps and other fun things, but really the star of the show is just wearing something cool with a bunch of people who have also made their stuff. So I've always just had a lot of really good times at those. I've actually made some awesome friends going to those as well that I probably may have not met otherwise, so those are some highlights for me.

Sarai
Yeah, I'm sad. They're usually in the summer here in Portland. They're always scheduled at a time when I'm out of town, so I'm hoping I'll be able to go this year. I love the idea of just making something really fun just for the heck of wearing it. And I love meeting other sewing friends, too.

I think the one that's most memorable for me is when we went to Australia on vacation several years ago, and some folks there organized a sewing meetup, and we went to brunch. This is in Sydney. There was a big group of people. We went to brunch, and then we went fabric shopping at all these different fabric stores in Sydney, which were amazing. We went to The Fabric Store. We went to a bunch of other places. Spotlight, I think. I had such a blast. I bought so much fabric, and it was so cool just hanging out with all these people and talking sewing and shopping for fabric together.

I think shopping for fabric together is such a bonding activity because there's just so much to talk about when you're looking for fabric, and you can kind of help each other out, picking things out and talk about the projects we have on the books, and it's really fun.

So that one always sticks in my mind. It was very special.

Haley
I do love a good fabric crawl.

Sarai
Yeah, it's great to do when you're traveling, too. It's such a fun way to meet people on the other side of the world. It was really cool. So I've been to a lot. I've done different events and things like that, and they're always a good time. I love them.

That was a fun way to start this discussion today because we're going to be talking about community, which is something near and dear to my heart. Before we get to that, if you have an icebreaker that you want us to use for a future episode, you can leave it for us. If you're a Seamwork member, go to seamwork.com/go/icebreakers, and we will likely use it on a future episode.

All right, so today we're talking about sewing and community. So when we talk about community, we can look at it as like the macro and the micro. So we've got the sewing community in general, which is kind of a broad and nebulous term, but then there are communities within the community. So, for example, our own private Seamwork community is a subset of the larger sewing community.

There's a lot of things that we talk about when we talk about community. But what actually is it and how can you participate? And that's what we're going to be breaking down for you today.

So we want to start with why does community matter? Why is it important? I think we can look at this at a couple of levels. So on the personal level, I think, like Haley and I were just talking about, it can just bring a lot of personal fulfillment and joy to your life to meet other people that share interests with you. It's kind of like, this way to bond really quickly with other people because you already know that you have this thing in common that you can talk about. So I think that's really important.

I think on the broader level, there's a lot of articles coming out right now about this epidemic of loneliness, at least in the United States, and I'm I'm sure in other countries as well, especially, you know, at the end of the Pandemic. And we've just been we've gotten used to being even more on our own than we were before. And a lot of people are experiencing this feeling of being very isolated and lonely for a very long period of time now. And I think that is something that is affecting most people.

And technology, I think, contributes to this as well. We have so many new ways to communicate that sort of sometimes take the place of real relationships. And that can be psychologically—it's kind of like junk food, instead of real nutritious food, when it comes to relationships. So that's something that if it's something that you've experienced, you're definitely not alone in it. It's something that a lot of people have experienced.

But if we look even further back than the Pandemic—I think most of us realize that the Pandemic has caused these kinds of changes and problems—but if you look even further back, this is a trend that's been going on for decades.

So right now, I'm reading a book called Bowling Alone by Robert Putnam, which is a sociological history of community in the United States in the last 100 years, particularly in the last 50 years from when it was written, which is, I believe, in the late 90s. So this book talks about how in the decades since, about the 1960s, there's been this real decline in participation in community life in America. This is likely true in other places as well. The book is specifically about the US.

Though in the first half of the century, of the 20th century, there was a lot of participation in voluntary organizations, civic organizations, politics, bowling leagues, things like that. But that has really, for various reasons, which the book goes into, that has really changed in the last several decades. And so this trajectory that we're on is not anything that's brand new. It's been going on for quite a long time, and it's a real problem. People's social lives and relationships have really suffered for it.

So how can we help to rebuild community and this idea of actually connecting with other human beings, how can we put that back into our lives, both on that personal level but also on the society level?

And I think our hobbies like sewing offer a really important way to do that. I think that's an extremely important bonding mechanism between people. So what may seem like a small thing when you think about the sewing community is actually a part of a much bigger issue that's taking place in our world right now. And I think when it comes to participating, it comes really naturally for some people and for others, it can be a struggle, or it can even be a source of anxiety, especially if it's something that you're not used to.

So that's what we want to talk about today, are the various ways that you can participate, what it means to participate, and then how you can do it, no matter who you are, what your personality is, and however you're comfortable.

So when you participate in the sewing community at large, or even our private community, Haley, does it come naturally to you, or do you feel any kind of anxiety around it?

Haley
You know what? It's interesting. I feel like I get more anxiety being online than I do in-person. People who know me know that I’m good at talking. Maybe you listening to this know that I can talk to anyone. So when I have that face-to-face connection, I'm comfortable with it. I feel like I'm in my wheelhouse. But then online, I just feel like a little, I don't know, there's something there that makes it a little bit harder for me. I have to force myself to do it more. What about you?

Sarai
It depends. For me, I kind of feel the same way these days. I really like interacting with people face to face. I'm definitely an introvert, but when it comes to talking to people, I really enjoy face-to-face connection. And especially I like small groups. I like one-on-one connection. That all is really meaningful to me.

I think the problem with engaging online at times is the facelessness of it and not really knowing who you're talking to, how many people are reading what you're saying. Especially on social media. It can be kind of uncomfortable. And I think people act very differently when they're not face to face with each other. It can be a lot more harsh at times. I don't think this is necessarily true in the sewing community, but just in general, online, I think people can be a lot more harsh.

Some of the normal social mechanisms seem to just get tossed out the window. So I kind of feel the same way that you do. I enjoy being face to face with people and really meeting up in person. I think that's really fun, and it doesn't really give me anxiety unless it's really speaking in front of a group or something like that. Obviously, most people get anxious about that.

Haley
I didn't used to be as anxious about online interactions, and I think that something that adds to it is that sometimes when I'm online, I'm being perceived as like Haley from Seamwork. And so I think that it's easier for people to not dehumanize. I wouldn't say that far, but you're not quite a regular person. You have this affiliation. You're kind of like an arm of a thing. But then when you're talking to someone in real life, I think that it's much more humanizing. So people treat you more like a person and not like a business. And I'm saying that even as like, when I interact with people online as just myself off office, not on the clock. So I think that there is like, an aspect of that that's mixed in.

Sarai
Yeah, I could see that for sure. I think that that's one reason why I enjoy having my personal newsletter, because I get to talk about whatever I want, and it feels very freeing in that way. And people can get to know the real me rather than just the things that I talk about related to Seamwork or related to work. Totally kind of a broader picture. And I feel like sometimes that can be lost online. Kind of a snapshot of people.

Haley
Yeah, I think that's the thing that I struggle with the most with it. What are some of your favorite aspects of the online sewing community?

Sarai
Well, I think it's a very warm and welcoming place. I think we've always said, especially for our audience, we've always said from the very beginning, like, we have the best customers in the world because everybody is so nice. It's true. It's wonderful. And I think that's generally true of the sewing community as a whole. I think people are very generally very civil and very sweet with each other, very supportive, and everybody wants to see each other succeed and do well and make the things that they want to make and everybody's very conscientious.

So I think those are my favorite parts of the sewing community. What about you?

Haley
I, of course, agree with all of that. Something that I love about niche groups, niche kind of like, I don't know, subcultures, is that I just love the dedication to any particular thing.

I love people who are interested in things. I say often that I think that interested people are interesting. And I love that about our sewing community.

And every time I meet someone in the sewing community, I feel like I learn like a million things. They're just all so bright and clever and funny. And I joke about this, but it's not really a joke. I just think sewing people are like the best people. I don't even have friends who don't sew anymore. That's not true. 95% of my friends sew and I just like it that way.

Sarai
Right.

Haley
And if they don't sew, they're like avid knitters or like, I don't know, just people who make things. I love creative people and the way that our minds work. I think that it's really special.

Sarai
Yeah. Do you think there's kind of a downside to it sometimes in that I've seen this happen in other communities where people are so into the thing and they form this little community around this thing, but it can get kind of like very myopic. Or people can get obsessed with this weird drama that happens that are just these little things that blow up for some reason. I've seen this in the knitting world, I've seen this in fitness in lots of different areas where it's just like nobody outside of this realm would really understand or care about this thing.

Haley
Yeah.

Sarai
And it's really interesting.

Haley
Yeah, I mean, I think that's definitely the case of any subculture, is that there's always just the most random drama, which is I don't know, I just kind of like laugh and roll my eyes. It's fine. I think it is a normal thing that groups of people with a common thing are going to do. But something I do think is unique about the sewing community is that I feel like it's like such a varied group of people and it's so vast that there's so many different interests mixed in that I feel like we have the benefit of not being, I don't know, too homogeneous.

Sarai
Yeah, I think that's true. I think there are a lot of different people, a lot of different types involved and that kind of helps to keep things diverse, which is nice diverse in some respects, anyway. I think that's a really good point and I do think some of that is positive. Like the self policing aspect of it can be positive because it kind of sets norms for a community, which I think is good. It's just that like anything, things can always go to extremes and that's when things get bad.

Haley
How do you feel about posting your finished projects online? What are your feelings about that? And do you do it frequently?

Sarai
I do, in the Seamwork community. I post my projects there and I love that because it's sort of like my little project diary. I can catalog everything that I've made and look back on it and I can share what I learned and get feedback and get ideas. Often people have awesome ideas. That's the only place I generally post them though because I'm not on social media, so I don't use Instagram or anything like that anymore. So that's the only place that I really do.

And the reason I don't use social media is well, there are a lot of reasons, but main one being I just didn't want to spend time doing that. It was just taking up too much of my life. I don't really use it anymore. But that said, I do a lot of other things to waste time on the Internet, so better than anybody else, but different, just different. Now it's watching YouTube videos or whatever. But I didn't really have a problem posting my projects when I did use social media. I'm totally fine with that. I enjoy sharing what I've made. I think it's really fun to talk to other people about it and get that kind of feedback.

Haley
Yeah.

Sarai
What about you?

Haley
I'm the worst about it. I get major—that’s one of my things that give me social anxiety, is like posting my project really. It's weird because if someone comes up to me and wants to talk to me about a shirt I'm wearing that I made, I will tell them all about it. But posting online, it just gives me a little anxiety.

Sarai
Oh, I guess I didn't really think about this, but also on our YouTube channel, I share things I'm making and I share the whole process of what I'm making. So there is, I guess, a little bit of anxiety there because I show the entire process. So if I make a mistake or if it doesn't work out or I feel like, okay, well, I guess I got to share this. But I think people appreciate that and they want to see the flubs and they want to see how you fixed it and they want to see what you learned from it, even if you've been sewing for a really long time. And I appreciate that when I see other people sharing those things. So I try to keep that in mind and remember that I don't have to be perfect to share what I've learned.

Haley
Yeah, definitely.

Sarai
So I think that's one thing that if you struggle with sharing either your projects or just getting involved. Just remember, perfection is not required.

So we wanted to share some tips for how to participate in the sewing community, if that's something that you would like to be more involved in. But before that, we wanted to introduce some pillars of community building to think about, because this can sort of help frame the way that you might want to participate. So there's three pillars we were going to talk about today. Listening, appreciation, and sharing. So we'll talk about each of those.

Starting with listening, what we mean by that is you're learning from other people's experiences. So sewing is this very emotional thing for a lot of people because we all bring our history and our current struggles into the community for support and validation. I think a lot of the time doing that, it takes a certain amount of vulnerability. And giving people that safe space to share things is really special. And just being there to listen to people as they share their experiences is an important part of being a member of the community. So that's the first thing is really listening to what people have to say.

The second one is appreciation. So showing love for all the talent and creativity of your fellow makers is the next pillar of building a healthy community.

And then finally sharing. So that's the part where you can reciprocate the vulnerability of others by sharing your own projects and your own creativity.

What's cool about these three pillars is that they're very cyclical. So they center others before yourself. And you're really taking the time to observe and learn and appreciate before you share your own stuff. But then you can get the feedback you need to grow and feel proud of your own accomplishments. So they really feed into each other, form this kind of nifty feedback loop. So those are the pillars we wanted you to keep in mind as you think about participation. And now we wanted to share some tips and ideas for participating in the Seamwork community or any community based on these pillars.

Haley
Awesome. So I'm going to share a handful of ideas for engaging in community based off of each one of these pillars.

The first one, of course, is listen. If you're a little shy, I think this is a great way to get started in the community. One idea is just to show up and poke around. You don't have to do anything. You can do this online. If you're a little bit nervous about in person events, you can just show up, poke around, look at some posts, read the comments.

And the next tip is if you're on the Seamwork community—if you aren't, you should be. It's really cool. You can browse people's projects, browse their post, and just become familiar. You'll probably start seeing the same familiar faces over and over again. And hopefully that'll start to build your confidence gradually.

Next you can ask a question. I think that asking a question—that might sound like sharing but it's not because it is centering the other person and their experiences and can be a really great first touch point for communicating with other people in a community setting and just breaking that ice a bit.

Sarai
Yeah, I think people love to help, they love to do favors and that's I think one of the best ways to build a relationship with somebody is to ask them to do something for you which can be hard, especially if you're an independent minded person, which I think a lot of sewists are.

It can be hard to ask for help but when you do that you're not only helping yourself but it makes the other person feel great if they're able to help you.

Haley
Yeah and that'll form a lasting impression in that person's mind and maybe you'll return the favor and ask a question of them. And it can also be a simple question like “I love that fabric, where did you get it?" Something like that just to break the ice.

The fourth idea is to listen to a podcast. This is a very passive way of participating but it is participating nonetheless by listening. It could be our podcast, which you are obviously listening to right now, but it could also be any number of the awesome podcasts about sewing that are out there.

And then the fifth tip for listening is to watch videos. Videos, classes, sewalongs. We have a ton of them on our YouTube channel. Also at Seamwork.com you can find our sewalongs, but there's a lot of other great YouTube channels out there in places where you can make some more connections. We actually just did—Sarai did—a great video on some of the YouTube channels that we are really loving right now. Definitely check that out.

Sarai
Yeah, we've done two videos about that. So the first one I think has six channels in it and the second one had five channels in it. There are some really awesome YouTube channels out there that you can participate in.

I think YouTube is a great place to kind of get your feet wet into the sewing community because you can find these channels where you really bond with the creator but also the community that's built around that creator and there's often a lot of participation in the comments and it's a great place to ask questions.

Haley
Yeah, I think that sometimes it can feel like—especially with consuming video-type content and the relationships you form there— are these kind of parasocial relationships. But I think that the sewing community is small enough and also like you mentioned, the comment section is where you can connect with, of course the poster, but also other people who have the same interest as you who are also commenting.

Then we have our second pillar which is appreciate. We have a few great ideas for how to appreciate those in your community. Of course, you can comment on a goal or a project that they have anything that they posted, be that on Instagram and the Seamwork community on YouTube.

We've talked a little bit about my anxiety about posting. I know that other people also struggle with this and giving someone a little bit of love can give them that motivation to keep participating. And again, it's like a very cyclical kind of thing. I think another thing that I like to make sure that I'm doing when I am appreciating someone or showing my appreciation is I like to be specific about what it is in particular that I like.

I think that those kinds of comments always hit a little closer to home instead of just like, I like your shirt. Not that there's anything wrong with that, that's still very kind. But when someone leaves a specific comment, it always feels like they're really taking the time to perceive my work in its entirety and not just saying something nice, to say something nice.

Sarai
I mean, I think that's a good just for life too. If you're paying somebody a compliment, the more specific you can make it, the more I think the more they'll take it to heart.

Haley
Totally. The third way to appreciate is you can just give it a like, the post, the video, the whatever it is. If you are still building up to a comment, just give it a like.

And then fourth, answer a question if you know the answer. A lot of times there's people out there online, be that on Instagram or in the Seamwork community, that are seeking a little bit of sewing advice and maybe you have the answer to that question. And I bet you would totally make their day if you helped them solve a little problem they're having.

And then the third pillar is sharing, or just to share in general. And I have lots of good ideas for this, some that I should probably take to heart and start doing.

Tip one is to just share your most recent sewing project. Stop waiting for it to be something really exciting that you have planned for two months from now and just share the one that you just made and just do it. It's an easy starting place.

You can share your sewing plans or your goals. I think this is really great because there's a little bit accountability that comes along with this. You might find that there's other people who have similar goals or plans and you can kind of have a little bit of camaraderie in that.

You can share a resource with someone. This kind of feeds back into answering a question, but it doesn't necessarily need to be in response to something. If you found a really cool fabric store, you can always share that with people. I say I always appreciate learning about new books, stores, classes, whatever. If you liked it, then there's a chance that there's someone else in our community who would probably love it as well.

Sarai
Or a sale.

Haley
Yeah, sale.

Sarai
We have a weekly thread every Friday about fabric, and we encourage people to share any sales that they see going on. And I've gotten some good deals from that thread. Liberty Fabric on sale and all kinds of goodies. So that's a good one to share.

Haley
That is an awesome one. The next tip for sharing is to ask a question about a specific project or get feedback on a work-in-progress, which is just really a valuable tool to seek out help in that way.

Anyway, the next tip is to start a conversation that can, again, be by asking someone a question. You could just message someone that you've seen on Instagram that you've been mutuals with, that you're commenting back and forth and start a conversation. You can take it offline in a safe way, of course. Don't be meeting people online in secret.

Sarai
Locations, back alley, somewhere.

Haley
Public places in the daylight, please.

Sarai
There's no fabric store back here.

Haley
What the heck?

And then my last tip for sharing is the most important and dearest to my heart: bring someone else into the loop and share the community that you love with a friend.

I think Sarai touched on this earlier. There's a lot of us who are seeking community, and that might by introducing someone to something like that, it might really change the course of their life. I know Jenny from Workroom Social. I'm going to totally mess this up how she says it. She hosts camps every year, sewing camps. And when people form in little chatting circles, it's always a circle, and she always wants it to be like, I think a croissant, not a doughnut. Leave room for someone else to join in the conversation. And I think that is such a beautiful sentiment and something that we could all benefit from doing, because I've been the person who doesn't have a circle to go, like, inch my way into.

So I think more croissants and less donuts unless we're talking about the actual food. And then I want both.

Sarai
Yeah. I was like, I don't know if I could choose. They're both good. I'll go with the cronut.

Haley
Sold.

Sarai
All right, so those are our tips for you today. I'm going to recap them really quick.

So we talked about the three pillars. First of all, which are listening, appreciation, and sharing, which are just sort of a framework for thinking about community participation.

And then Haley shared a whole bunch of tips for different ways that you can participate that I'll go through really fast for you.

So under listening, you can just show up and poke around. You can browse projects and posts. You can ask a question. You can listen to a podcast. You can watch videos, classes, sewalong, kind of get involved in a YouTube community. That way, lots of different ways that you can show up and listen, and that's a great way to start.

The next one is to appreciate. So you can comment on a goal or a project. Be sure to be very specific, if you can, with your compliments. That always helps. Just give it a like if you don't have time to leave a comment and answer a question, if you know the answer.

And then share. So you can share your most recent project. You can share your sewing plans or your goals. This is a great thing to do in the Seamwork community. We have structure for that. We have a place where you can actually post your goals and track your goals. You can ask a question or get feedback on a work in progress. You can start a new conversation, and you can bring somebody else into the sewing fold, too, which is a great way to become even more involved in the community, is to bring other people into it.

So what's your big takeaway from this discussion today, Haley?

Haley
I think my takeaway is I should probably stop getting in my own way and maybe be, like, a little bit more online. It might be cool. I think also that this conversation is a beautiful reminder of how lucky we are to be a part of such, like, a really amazing community.

Sarai
Yeah, I think for me, my big takeaway is that community is really important. Really important. One of the most fundamental things that we need as humans is other humans around us. And I think it has been getting a short shrift in the last several decades, but especially the last five years or so, there are very concrete things that we can do to combat that on a personal level and to bring more happiness into our own lives and also the lives of everybody around us.

And it might just seem like a very silly thing participating more in the sewing community, whether that's online or offline, but it's a way to spread joy, and I think we need a lot more joy in this world right now. So I think it's important, and I think it's one of the core things about Seamwork that I appreciate. And I hope that we can continue to build in the coming years, because I think it's everything.

All right. Well, if you are interested in the Seamwork community in particular, I would invite you to join. We have some of the nicest and most helpful sewers you can imagine in our private community.

And if you don't like posting publicly or you're not comfortable with social media, or even if you are, I think the Seamwork community is a great place to come and share what you're making and communicate with other people and take part in a really vibrant community.

And we're also doing more in-person events starting soon, so I'm really, really looking forward to that. And our team hangs out there all the time, along with thousands of Seamworkers, and we're all there to just talk to you and cheer you on. You can ask any kind of question about sewing, and there's absolutely no judgment, and you'll always get some amazing answers. And you can also share your finished projects there and create goals like we just talked about. And we'll even email you reminders to keep you on track.

So it's a perfect place to go if you need a quick boost of creative energy. And you can join us there. Just go to Seamwork.com to learn more. And if you like this episode, you can definitely show the love by leaving us a review.

I guess we should mention that's another way to participate in the community. So if you are listening to this on Apple Podcasts, or Spotify or Stitcher, wherever you're listening to it, if you could take a moment and give us five stars and let us know how much you like the show, we would super appreciate that and we might read it on a future episode. You can also follow us on YouTube at Seamwork Video. You can follow us on Instagram at Seamwork. And if you'd like to join Seamwork and become part of our private community, plus get access to hundreds of sewing patterns and dozens of sewalong classes, our podcast listeners get a 50% off lifetime discount when you join seamwork.com/go/podcast-50. So that wraps us up for today. I'm Sarai.

Haley
And I'm Haley.

Sarai
And this is Seamwork Radio.